LECH’S GO BABY!!!

I’ll be honest, part of me doesn’t want you discovering Lech, an idyllic Austrian ski resort tucked along the Western edge of Tyrol and to that end, I’m going to start with the harsh realities.  This isn’t the best skiing in the world (that would be here in Japan), this isn’t the best food you’ll find on the slopes (that would be here in Italy), this isn’t even the fanciest or most elegant resort (that would be in neighboring Switzerland).  Oh, and the best hotel in town?  You can’t reserve a room there, they’ll call you.

So feel free to stop reading.  Feel free to not come here.

For those of you who trust me, let’s dive in.

The secret 173 slope that chases through snow-dusted pines to drop you off right in the center of Lech

THE RESORT

Lech is the central village of the Arlberg Mountain Range, one of five resorts that are all interconnected via slopes and chairlifts, and by far the nicest to stay in.  Half way up the main peak is the tiny hamlet of Oberlech which consists of little more than a couple hotels and restaurants inaccessible by car.  Neighboring Zurs and St. Christoph are a bit bigger but too remote to stay in, while the farthest, St. Anton, is a little more “busy” to put it kindly.  Basically, stay in Lech.

One ski pass buys you access to all these mountains and each have their pluses which I’ll get into later.  One of the most fun challenges is tackling The White Ring, a 22 kilometer circuit that will take you through most of the mountains with over 5,000 meters in elevation change over the course of one exceptional day of skiing.

Unlike other resorts that boast great shopping, Michelin-starred restaurants, or a myriad of other winter pastimes, I gotta say, if you don’t downhill ski, you may want to skip this trip as the area doesn’t offer much else in the way of activities.

The perfect table at the Almhof Schneider to settle down for a drink and a round of gin rummy

HOTELS

Despite what it may look like when scrolling through hotel booking sites, there’s only one hotel you want to book, and that’s the Almhof Schneider.  But here’s the tricky thing: just because you want to stay there doesn't mean they want you staying there.  Booking a room over the holidays at one of my favorite hotels in the world requires a little more work than lazily clicking on Tablet or calling up Amex Travel.

It all starts by submitting a request on their discrete website.  You’ll be put on a waitlist that may extend a couple years though if you’re hoping to go during an off-peak week, you may be in luck.  And the good news is once you’re in, you’re in.  At the end of your stay you will be asked if you want to book your room again for the same dates the following year, and seeing as 97% of people rabidly say yes, you can understand why booking a room here gets tricky.

With the logistics out of the way, I can now wax poetic about just how special a place this is.  Family run for several generations, it also happens to be the only hotel to be ski-in/out in town (along with the only one to arrange for the ski school to come to pick up your kids each day and then drop them off).  The property was renovated a few years ago by the owner who happens to be an architect and every detail is meticulously thought out.  There is a perfect blend of Tyrolean charm and modern elegance, the contrast of intricately-moulded pine wood ceilings and sober grey flannel headboards.  A garage designed by the renowned architect behind Ogata in Paris, a steam room and cold plunge that looks like it belongs at Apple HQ, and a dining room whose maitre d’ recognizes you and remembers each family members’ name the very first time you set foot in there!

Which brings me to an interesting point: breakfast and dinner are both included in the astronomical price tag, and while I first bristled at the idea of staying in every night, within three days I was thrilled to ignore hunting down interesting local meals (there aren’t many) and instead relaxing in this oasis of calm after a full day on the slopes without having to put on a coat after 4p and while figuring out taxi logistics.  Each night is a new five course meal that alternates proteins and highlights local specialties.  Each night is better than the next, with the dinners only being surpassed by the perfection of the breakfast in the morning and the afternoon tea offered fire-side or out on the terrace overlooking the mountains.

And it is during this teatime that you should order perhaps the greatest culinary treat in all of Austria, because this hotel nails it better than any other place: my favorite dish ever (no exaggeration here), Kaiserschmarrn, an indescribable mix of pancake and soufflé, scrambled together, caramelized with sugar, studded with plump raisins, and generously topped with plum jam.  THE BEST THING YOU WILL EVER EAT IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, HONEST TO GOD.

At this point I’ll stop fawning over this hotel and mention one other that is pretty solid if you have young children: the Burg Vital.  This one is located in that little town halfway up the slopes, Oberlech, and the great thing about it is that without any car access, kids can run around and play in the snow after ski school without a worry in the world.  Your only worry however is that if you want to leave the hotel for a night on the town, you have to take a gondola down and back, and after the slopes shut down, it only runs every half hour, so…yeah.  Pros and cons…Then again, this place also does full-board, so you may be happy hunkering down come nightfall.

THE SKIING

Now, for the skiing…Before you even hit the slopes, you should know that some of the most coveted—and comfortable—custom ski boots in the world can be found right in the heart of town at Strölz.  Despite being made-to-measure, it’s only a 24 hour turn-around and the store also happens to be the best place to rent equipment, so they can lend you a pair while yours are built.

The Lech/Oberlech runs—which happen to be the most convenient—are also the least interesting of the region.  After a day or two you’ll tire of them and want to go searching farther afield.  Your second stop will be across the street, the Rüfikopfbahnen gondola (I’m telling you, skiing in Austria is a lot less sexy than Italy) that takes you to a peak from which you glide poetically atop a mountain range down into Zurs where the fun begins.

Another option is to jump into a taxi and race towards St. Christoph (or Zurs) and avoid the masses trying to take the Rüfikopfbahnen, eventually winding your way back to Lech by day’s end.

Beyond the legendary White Ring circuit, below are a few of my favorite slopes to hit…

Just note: the slopes are all numbered rather than named, which will come as a relief to all of  you who don’t speak German.  Also, diamond-shaped numbers signify the slopes are off-piste and ungroomed, but still recognized.  All main slopes are displayed within circles, with blue being the easiest, followed by red and the incredibly infrequent black.

In Zurs, get to the Seekopf restaurant, fill up on a beer, pretzel, and a beef consommé with sliced pancake. There’s little else worth eating here but the view is great when the sun is pounding down.

From here, jump on the Matloch lift just below which leads to one of the best series of runs in the area, starting with 165.  You can choose one of two adventures half way down this run:

173 back to Lech is un-groomed, marked off-piste, and an absolute joy but you can only do it if there’s sufficient snow covering.  You’ll also be the only one weaving through the forests and glades, and it doesn’t get better than this. You really have to be on the lookout for this trailhead though.

170 will drop you off at the Zugerbergbahn gondola that takes you right to the heart of the Lech range where you can ski back down to town.

From the Lech side, another fun off-piste run that ends at the Zugerberbahn is 177 which is slightly hidden, just below the entrance to the Zuger Horn chairlift.

And now, I’ve saved the best for last, rewarding you for reading this far.  Are you ready?  Perhaps the best reason to ski Lech is that—as far as I know—it is the only ski resort with multiple site-specific works of contemporary art set into the mountain.  And while Antony Gormley’s 100 life-sized human statues are fun to catch on your way up the Kreighorn lift (or as you ski off-piste down the challenging 203), the most transcendental experience on a slope anywhere in the world is the James Turrell Skyspace that is tucked out of view off of the 210 in Oberlech.  On sunny days the roof is left open and the small chapel-like room is open for all to enter and reflect within.  At night the roof is covered and the space is accessed by gondola and foot, and you can witness the most mind-blowing non-acid light show of your life.

On the slopes dining does not get more refined than Verwall Stubbe

DINING

With the caveat that this is not a food paradise coupled with the fact that you will have exceptional breakfasts and dinners at your hotel, you still need fuel on the slopes.  Below are my favorites.

Verwall Stubbe - It takes quite a few series of gondolas and chairlifts to reach what is by far the nicest of all the restaurants on the slopes here in St. Anton, but it will be worth every minute of the journey.  You  may feel guilty stepping into the sleek yet understated space with your ski boots and multiple layers of wool and Gor-tex but the ever-so gracious staff expect nothing less from you.   And within minutes of unclasping those Strolz boots, the noise of the wind whipping across your face during your schusses will melt away and you will be transported to a heavenly respite from the nearby masses gorging on bratwursts.

When reserving insist on a table by the panoramic windows that look out onto the entire range and then tuck into fine slabs of foil gras or an impeccable dover sole.  High-altitude dining does not get any finer. And once you’re done, you will be in the same building (different entrance) as the highest gondola in the entire region which will take you to the top of the Valluga peak, where the best snow and most challenging slopes await you.  The perfect day.

Hospiz Alm -This is probably the most fun spot to hit on the slopes.  At the bottom of the St. Cristoph runs, this iconic venue’s massive terrace fills up fast on sunny days and it is tricky to reserve ahead so get here early (around 11:30 at the latest) to secure a prime spot.  The food is classic schnitzels and bologneses, but you’re here for the people watching, a frosty stein of beer, and the best trip to the bathroom you’ll ever take at a ski resort.  Knowing full well that we all hate trudging down slippery flights of stairs to access restrooms, they’ve built a slide down to the basement where not only will you be greeted with lavatories but also the largest wine cellar in Austria, kept in full view behind bullet-proof glass and a bank vault door.

Burg Vital - The Lech side of the mountain offers few culinary options (Der Wolf is beautifully designed but only worthy of a drink), so if you find yourself skiing near the Turrell installation, take a turn into Oberlech and enjoy a lovely meal on the terrace here.  Just make sure to book well in advance! PS. Their kaiserschmarn is a pretty good runner-up to the one at the Almhof.

Schneggerei - At the base of the Lech mountain sits this lively pizzeria operated by the Almhof family.  It’s not going to win any James Beard awards but if your kids are in ski school they will likely be eating here at least three times during the week and think it is the apex of the culinary world.  The atmosphere is fun and it’s worth at least one meal.

The lively sun-drenched deck at the Hospiz Alm

YOUR BACKPOCKET GUIDE TO LOS ANGELES

I realize a good chunk of the folks reading this live in Los Angeles and another solid group go there multiple times a year.  I also realize that there is something new to do/see/eat in LA every six hours.  So why this list?  Because it’s always useful to have something handy for that friend who’s visiting from out of town and doesn’t know San Vicente from…well, the other San Vicente. And because quite frankly, as with any city, the classics always best the latest, so 90% of this list will still be applicable in six months or six years, and you may just find a little secret or two you never knew (Greystone Mansion anyone? The best breakfast is actually in Alhambra?)

Okay, here we go!

Chateau Marmont

WHERE TO STAY

The first thing to know is that there are some great hotels in LA and none of  them are conveniently located.  The most fun parts of town are all East which is the most dis-serviced area as far as lodging is concerned.  If you want to be by the beach your options are better, but you will then be so far from the heart of town that you may as well surrender and just admit you’re on a beach trip and not a visit to Los Angeles.

If you don’t care about a practical location, my two favorites are the Chateau Marmont and the Bel Air Hotel.  The Chateau needs no description, it still retains all its mystique, charm, and cache, and if you get a little bungalow, you’ll feel like the star that you are.  The Bel Air is a smaller, more intimate version of the Beverly Hills Hotel which is only worth visiting for its timeless Fountain Coffeeshop counter in the basement and the fish tacos at the Polo Lounge—the rest feels like a bunch of Midwest businessmen in town for a pharma convention.  The grounds of the Bel Air though are discrete, magical, and so well hidden that you feel you are an entire world removed from any city on earth.  I love it.

By the beach there is the big old Casa Del Mar with ocean views, mediocre food, and rooms decorated to make you feel at a wealthy family member’s beach house in Martha’s Vineyard.  On a much smaller scale is The Gjelina Hotel, 27 rooms rooms overseen by the West Side culinary royalty behind Gjusta and their eponymous flagship restaurant.  As long as you promise to wear one of those blue Italian workman jackets every bearded-and-bunned Westsider sports to appear like they are “of the people”, you’ll fit right in.

If you do want to be closer to all the fun stuff though, the only place I can recommend is a mini oasis on one of the city’s shittiest streets, that just happens to be three minutes from one of the city’s best parks, and another 5-10 minutes from all the best neighborhoods.  The Cara Hotel is a former crappy hotel that is now under the management of the son of the managers of Claridge’s in London, and he clearly learned a thing of two from his parents.  Despite the sad bones, they have done a a great job sprucing up this former by-the-hour spot into nicely appointed rooms.

One final East Side spot to note is the Palihouse’s Silverlake Pool and Inn which would feel right at home as a re-vamped motel in the Catskills, and offers a clean bed, an overcrowded pool, and again, proximity to great neighborhoods.

El Mirage Dry Lake Bed

PARKS AND HIKES

One of the best parts of Los Angeles are the readily accessible hikes, both along the coast, and around the east side of town.  Definitely avoid Runyon Canyon unless you want to spot people desperately trying to spot celebrities.  Instead hit up one of the following…

Griffith Park has endless amounts of trails.  Many of them lead to, or intersect the observatory which itself is a great destination.  It is open to the public every night to peer into its massive telescopes, and during the day it’s a beautiful water break for the half way point on a hike.  One great starting/finish point is the Trails Cafe (but avoid it on the weekends!) up to the Observatory, while a longer loop would include Hogback Trail to Mount Hollywood, including the enchanting little wooden bridge along Henry’s Trail.

A fun little fact: a few blocks away across the 101 Freeway is the Iconic Hollywood Bowl, one of the best outdoor concert venues in the world.  It also happens to be a public park.  So on days when there aren’t any shows, you are free to walk into the arena during the day, marvel at the architecture, and if you’re in a fitness kinda mood, run the flights of stairs up and down for one of the city’s most unique workouts.

Out in Malibu, two of my favorite places to hike are Point Mugu State Park and Solstice Canyon, the former featuring endless expanses of tall golden grasses and bluffs overlooking the Pacific, while the latter is a shaded respite for those hot summer months.

If you’re out here in the spring time, make sure to see if the poppy fields in Lancaster are in bloom.  They tend to cause hordes of people decamping to the high desert to take pictures of themselves, but mid-week you may beat the crowds and be blown away by the psychedelic orange blooms.  Otherwise, another nearby treat is El Mirage Dry Lake Bed.  You’ve seen it countless times in music videos, car commercials, and more.  Its smooth, cracked surface looks like another world, and after paying an entrance fee, you can drive out onto the lakebed and do what you want.  My advice?  Rent a badass car for the day and push the needle as far as you dare…I once hit 147mph in a friend’s Porsche and it was the time of my life.   

If you’re in town with a small child and you’ve always dreamed of visiting a sprawling European estate but only had the funds to get to LA, treat yourself to a stroll through the oft-overlooked Greystone Mansion.  While you can’t access the home itself, the manicured grounds in this Beverly Hills park are stunning and perfect for letting a tot run across lush grass.

Oh and speaking of gardens, if you are a botanical enthusiast, don’t miss Pasadena’s Huntington Gardens, with their global growths, ranging from Japanese Zen sanctuaries to desert cacti expanses.  And if you go to the trouble to head out that far, make sure to go a bit farther afield for lunch at Yang’s Kitchen.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Kenny Scharf’s Culver City studio

ART

Okay, I’m a New Yorker, sometimes arrogantly so, and it’s therefore hard for me to admit that the art scene in LA these days is somewhat more inspiring than what’s going on back East.  Below I’ll outline a few museums, and then simply list the best galleries.  I’d suggest taking a peek at what’s on view beforehand because like all galleries, the spaces themselves are just blank walls, it’s what they’re showing that’s worth the trek (or not).

The Broads The city’s wealthiest art patrons have two temples of contemporary art, their eponymous downtown behemoth—perhaps more interesting for its architecture than the art within—and a major pavilion at the LACMA that consistently has great shows and a dazzling Barbara Krueger-designed elevator.

The Hammer Museum UCLA’s small but powerful space always puts on exceptional exhibitions and is also home to an Alice Waters/David Tanis restaurant that may not be as inspired as Chez Panisse but is nonetheless above average for museum fare.

The Museum of Jurassic Technology Okay, this one is an only-in-LA kinda thing.  The less I tell you, the better.  But imagine if Charlie Kauffman and Nathan Fielder got together and brainstormed a museum: this would be it.  By appointment only, if you’re looking for something way out of the ordinary to do, this…this is it.

In absolutely no order whatsoever, here are a list of the city’s best galleries to visit.  Karma, Perrotin, Zwirner, Hauser&Wirth, Gagosian, Matthew Brown, Kordansky, Friedman/Benda, Ghebaly Gallery, Deitch Projects

Just one snap in my photo library of Just One Eye

SHOPPING

The good news is there is some great shopping to be done in town, the bad news is that with very few exceptions, all the best stores are next to….absolutely nothing at all.  So “discoveries” are few and far between. But at least you got yourself a nice rental car (please tell me you got yourself a nice rental car), you figured out that 89.9 is KCRW, and you finally get to catch up with your parents via speakerphone as you drive 45 minutes from one dope spot to another.

HOME

The LA outposts of NY favs BDDW and Future Perfect are as wonderful as you’d expect them to be, with FP taking the cake, having rented out the iconic 1916 former home of MGM CEO Samuel Goldwyn to showcase their one-of-a-kind furnishings.  Much smaller in scope and ambition is the lovely Tortoise General Shop that stocks all manner of small Japanese house wear, from cast iron pots to the most fragile glasses ever blown.

CLOTHING

For everyone who needs their fix of Comme Des Garçons and Rose Bakery,  there is a Dover Street Market downtown, somewhat near Departemento, LA’s own answer to the global mini-chain of high-end fashion.  If you want to look like someone who says “this shirt is important”, this is where you’ll want to shop.

Just One Eye is just as impressive for what’s on it’s racks as what’s on its walls.  The store boasts massive Damien Hirst canvases and more, due to the strong curatorial skills of its owner.   

If you’re looking for a more down-to-earth style, I’ve always loved the Japanese-centric collections available at Mohawk General Store in Silverlake.

ETC…

For records, it may have moved and shrunk, but Amoeba Records is still an unbeatable temple to vinyl.

For books, there are a few great options including the incredibly pretentious Arcana, where touching their plastic-covered art books is strictly verboten. The Last Bookshop in Downtown with its exceptional kids section, and Hauser and Wirth’s mighty bookshop in the Arts District.  There’s an amazing all-cookbook shop in Chinatown called Now Serving, while two great straight-forward neighborhood bookshops are Skylight Books in Los Feliz and Diesel in the Brentwood Countrymart.

And speaking of the Brentwood Countrymart, if you’re on the Westside make sure to stop in to this eden of bourgeois consumerism.  Like an East Hampton of the West, this idyllic enclave has everything we love about LA: Rose Creamery ice cream, James Perse clothing, the most art-directed post office in America, Irene Neuwirth jewelry (Broken English is great too), and Farmshop for all your pantry needs.

Which leads me right to…

The Hollywood Farmer’s Market

FOOD SHOPPING

There is no better place in America to shop for produce than the Hollywood and Santa Monica Farmers’ markets.  From stalls offering a dozen varietals of avocados to year-round blackberries that burst with juicy sweetness, heirloom cherimoyas and passion fruits and soooooo much more.  The stalls you absolutely must visit (many of these are set up at both the FMs) are JJ’s Lone Daughter Ranch for their juices, Bacon avocados (the best varietal ever) and exotic citrus, JG Berries, Aris for the richest, creamiest yoghurt you will ever have, Lily’s Eggs, when in season the Bahri dates from the Date Man, and any meat from Pork+Flowers.  Also, the tiny little stand selling fresh seafood from Santa Barbara is out of this world.

If you can’t wake up at 7am to beat the lines and find parking at these markets that open at 8, do not despair!  There are a handful of spots around town that offer the best of the market all week long, namely Cookbook (the one on Larchmont is the biggest by far), LA Homefarm (which also has beautiful local ceramics, floral arrangements and artworks for sale), and the aforementioned Farmshop.

Finally, if you want to look like a health-conscious influencer or unemployed actor squandering his final residual check on chia pudding, you’ll definitely want to hit up Erewhon, the city’s most expensive chain of supermarkets.  Splurge on their juices and prepared dishes as most of their packaged goods can be found elsewhere in town for literally a third of the price.  My last trip there led to discovering a small bag of tortilla chips for $15.

Telegrama’s blueberry pancakes

RESTAURANTS

Okay, this category is what made me put off doing an LA write-up for so long because I simply didn’t know where to begin.  The choices are overwhelming, in every single category.  But then I took a breath and realized that I should probably only highlight those places I keep coming back to trip after trip.  Much like if you are a real New Yorker, you aren’t going to far-flung boroughs for a different birria ramen every night of the week.  You have your neighborhood haunts and then a few outliers.  So, with that in mind, please don’t get upset at what’s below, I KNOW I MISSED A TON OF STUFF AND SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE INCLUDED MUSSO+FRANKS AND DAN TANA’S.  But again, if you have a friend in from out of town, you’re not going to give him a Jonathan-Gold-sized list of a 100 places to try, you’ll give him the faves.  Here are mine.


COFFEE

The Maru in Los Feliz has been reduced to little more than a pile of memes on their insufferable lines and level of doucheness, but the one downtown is much quieter and their green iced tea (along with allll coffee drinks) really are some of the best in town.

Camel Coffee is a Korean newcomer across from the Vista Theater in Silverlake, and their signature drink involving espresso poured over ice and topped with milk and sweet cream is truly unbeatable.

Destroyer is a bit far-flung in the depth of Culver City, but it is the light-bite sibling of the city’s most infamous tasting menu, Vespertine.  Go for breakfast or lunch and be blown away by everything on the menu.

Telegrama’s coffee is solid but their blueberry pancake is the best I’ve ever had. Anywhere.

If you are a coffee purist, look no further than Endorffeine who only serves two types of coffee, a single shot of espresso and a chilled glass of cold brew, with a warning at the door that they have no milk or sweeteners on the premises.  The premises consisting of a spartan storefront in Chinatown run by a former chemist and his sister, closed on the weekends due to the stress of performing for too many customers.  This place is special.  In the best possible way.

BURGERS

The best burger joints in LA are time traveling portholes, from counters still offering “hand-tipped” shakes (Pie n’ Burger in Pasadena), to the iconic decor of The Apple Pan where each burger on the menu has its date of inception alongside it (go for the more recent Hickory burger, from 1947).  Don’t miss out on Bill’s Burgers deep in the Valley, straight out of a Tarantino or P.T. Anderson film.  And a special shout out to Amboy Burgers in Chinatown that acknowledges some people like their burgers smashed, others don’t, and you shouldn’t have to travel to a different establishment for one or the other, after all they are all simply made of ground beef.

JAPANESE/KOREAN

On the high-end of the spectrum there’s Asanebo in the Valley, Sushi Zo in Culver City (though sadly a mini-chain now), and Sushi Park in West Hollywood.  If you’re not from the States and want to be blown away with “everyday” sushi, find yourself your closest branch of Sugarfish or their handroll sister chain, Kazu Nori.  It blows my mind that every city in the world doesn’t have a version of this.  Fresh, delicious, inexpensive, and fast.  It’s perfect.

For a Japanese iza-kaya experience, head to Tsubaki in Echo Park.  If there’s a Dodgers game that day, make it a double header and go there after the game to celebrate.  They also have an exceptional bar with little bites next door.

Lastly, I haven’t been to its latest incarnation, but one of the best meals I ever had anywhere was at Baroo, an experimental Korean restaurant very keen on fermentation.  I realize when most of those words are combined into one sentence, it doesn’t make for the best sell, but trust me, this place is amazing.  And I’ve heard that in their bigger-and-badder incarnation, they have risen even higher.

PIZZA

I’ll make this real simple.  When I lived in LA a lifetime ago, there was no good pizza in town.  Us East Coasters moaned and groaned, and the locals’ usual answer to our whining was “we actually have money left over after rent to buy a real meal”.  Well, no part of that statement is true anymore. From transplants like NY’s Roberta’s and Phoenix’s Pizza Bianco to hometown heroes Jon And Vinny’s, there’s an exceptional pie to be had in every corner of town.  But the only pie worth traveling across oceans for is Echo Park’s very special Quarter Sheets.  Yes, it’s deep dish, Detroit-influenced, but it is unlike anything you’ve ever had.  It is nothing short of flawless, as are the desserts and everything else on the menu.  Beware, you must reserve in advance, and even order take-out first thing in the morning with an allotted time-slot, all designed to alleviate the hordes of people that descend on this mecca of gluten.

BAKERIES

My favorite category and the hardest to whittle down…On the East Side is the exceptional sandwich shop and bakery, Bub and Grandma.  Avoid the weekends, and always feel free to walk up to their window for a loaf of their sesame bread and a donut to go. Otherwise, go inside for the best meatloaf or tuna fish sandwich (besides Palace Diner!) .

Even further east—this will be a real field trip—is the hard to define Yang’s Kitchen in the more undefinable city of Alhambra.  But the shlep is worth it.  You must try their mochi cornmeal pancake, the smoked salmon belly hash, and make sure to wash it down with the greatest drink of all time, ever, anywhere, the Oolong Fresca.

A few years ago the New York Times arrogantly wrote that LA now had better bagels than NY.   Not sure who wrote that article, but I know they got taken down a peg in the comments section.  It was an idiotic statement, because any corner shop in NY could outmatch 99.99% of the bagels on the west coast.  But there remains that 0.01%, which is where Courage Bagels come in.  They are undoubtedly the best bagels ever, anywhere (but I regret to say, one place alone cannot define a city’s entire offerings).  Not to be repetitive, but go early, avoid the weekends, and know that even if there are only four people ahead of you, you will wait 20 minutes for your order.  And that order should be a sesame seed bagel with salmon roe and a “simply delicious” (paper-thin smoked salmon, olive oil, pepper, lemon and capers) on everything bagel.  My secret here is to go the last day of my trip, en route to the airport, and order a dozen bagels to go.  Immediately upon my return to Paris, I follow Kenji Lopez Alt’s instructions for freezing and re-heating the bagels.  I ration them out like cigarettes in solitary, and even a couple months later, if properly stored and heated, they taste just as good and bring me back to my happy place.

Despite the endless lines, the endless social media posts, the incessant horrible traffic jam on the corner, Republique’s breakfast and lunch offerings are still some of the best in town.  I’ve studied their french toast for days on end trying to get the same mixture of fluffy and crispy on mine to no avail, their granola to-go is a damn good souvenir of your time spent in town, and if you are feeling like a hardy start to the day, their Kimchi fried rice with braised short rib is beyond.  In fact just looking up their menu to write this up is making me drool.

Over on the West Side of town, there are two shining stars.  On the traditional end of the spectrum is Huckleberry on the northern end of Santa Monica.  It feels like a small-town bakery done right, and for a while it would be a final destination before LAX to get myself some turkey meatballs and a pastry for the flight home.

Finally, Gjusta is one of those game-changers that a decade in, still defines a time and a place.  A Venice stronghold, it ticks off all the boxes.  First-rate pastries and lunch dishes, a mixed-grain porridge waffle that is the ultimate combination of incredibly healthy and sinfully decadent, plenty of tanned people without jobs sipping $10 coffees in the middle of a weekday without a worry in the world while homeless encampments are erected and eradicated on daily basis just outside the patio’s bucolic confines.  Definitely stock up on their olive oils, rosemary-dusted marcona olives, and other pantry goods in what little extra space is left in your luggage.

TACOS/MEXICAN

The debate over the best taco stand/cart/truck is so great that I dare not wade into these waters.  From Gish Bac and Villa’s Tacos to La Azteca and that truck on Rose, there are too many great ones to name.  And I’m going to get in a lot of hot water for this, but I’d sooner take a 2 hour drive and just go straight to La Super Rica in Santa Barbara for the day and feast on their tacos de rajas.

FOR A LOVELY DINNER…

I realize most of the places I’ve written up close after lunch.  Perhaps I’ve focused on these because I prefer to cook dinner at home with all the loot from the farmer’s market (another reason to stay at Chateau Marmont in a room with a built-in kitchen or a dear friend’s guest house!), but there are two really special places to go come night fall.

On the East Side of town, one of my favorite restaurants anywhere is Hippo.  Run by the former chef of the iconic Mozza, the pastas reign supreme, though every dish is a banger.  But that’s not why I keep coming back to Matt Molina’s table.  It’s the feeling in the room.   The staff is so unbelievably friendly you’d think they were actually unaware they were working in the hospitality industry in the mid-20s.  The clientele are mostly repeat customers from the neighborhood and everyone is sporting a smile rather than a stare or a scowl, which only adds to the glow of the space and its unique positioning in the LA food scene. People here are happy.

On the West Side, Evan Funke has created an empire in the days since he founded Felix, but the original still hits the spot, time and time again, and is lightyears better than his other places that feel way too Vegas. The hand-rolled pastas are legendary, the focaccia better than most in Italy, and the drinks all pack a lovely punch.  Yes, it’s still hard to score a table, but go early, or eat at the bar if you must, you won’t be disappointed.

OKAY! THAT’S IT! Sorry there’s no comments section, you’ll have to vent elsewhere about the fact that I didn’t include Randy’s Donuts.

A MILANESE LAYOVER

Is Milan destined to be your next big trip?  Probably not, unless you’re a buyer for a luxury department store in Dallas.  But, if you’re planning an alpine adventure in the Dolomites or a romantic getaway on Lake Como (or my recommendation of the lesser-known Lago Maggiore), I strongly recommend a two day layover in Milan. From amazing undiscovered centers of contemporary art to (arguably) the world’s first fashion concept store, it’s the perfect dose of cosmopolitan energy before you spend a week lollygagging in the mountains or at your friend’s rich aunt’s lakeside villa.

Apologies for this being such a short list compared to other cities, but the good news is that this can all be done in a solid day and a half before you dive into your next proper vacay.

WHERE TO STAY

3 Rooms Corso Como - The most straight-forward hotel room name of all time, the three suites that share a courtyard with the iconic shopping mecca feel straight out of a 1980s Wim Wenders fashion documentary.  The vibe is a bit dated but in the best possible way. Think of it as the most fashionable Airbnb of all time.

Bulgari Hotel - I’ve already extolled the virtues of the Rome outpost and I’ll do it again for this one.  Beyond the best shower I’ve ever experienced in any hotel (or home), the elegantly minimalist rooms feel like sets from Succession.  Understated opulence exudes from every travertine surface and kids will love the endless jars of Haribos strategically placed by the elevator bays.  The rooms are small and the price of a tailor-made suit, but for two nights it’s the perfect place to play make-belief.

THE ART

Yes, the original Last Supper can be found gracing the wall of the nondescript refectory of a nondescript church, but I would skip this overburdened tourist trap and head to the outskirts of town and the countryside for two exceptional contemporary art gems.

The first is Villa Panza, one of my favorite museums anywhere in the world, in no small part because of its impressive collection of James Turrell, Dan Flavin, and Robert Irwin installations (the foundation recently sold a few of their permanent installations but there’s still plenty left).  Juxtaposed against an 18th century Italian mansion, all the contemporary works leap out against the ornate moldings and architecture.  There are also sprawling gardens dotted with whimsical sculptures, and hit-or-miss temporary exhibitions.  The story of how the quiet couple acquired their collection starting in the 1950s is fascinating, worth reading about as you tour the property.

The second destination is the Prada Foundation, a mix between the MASS MoCA and the Guggenheim. An impressive permanent collection, exceptional temporary shows, and a wonderful café designed by Wes Anderson (complete with a Life Aquatic pin-ball machine!), you’ll have enough Instagram content for a week by the time you leave…

A tenth the size with possible ten times more art, the incredibly intimate Casa Museo Boschi di Stefano is in the heart of the city, a former residence of two fanatic art collectors, finally opened to the public some twenty years ago.  The visit feels incredibly private and personal, like you are peeking into the actual lives of the couple who once lived here.  A really special little treat.

Finally, there is the massive Pirelli Hangar Bicocca, an overwhelming former warehouse that now allows for installations that very few other institutions could house, including a permanent work by Anselm Keifer that looms over viewers like towering nightmares.

THE SHOPPING

From the fringes of town you can then race right to the center and discover the first-ever Prada store at the center of the breathtaking Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, the cathedral-like indoor/outdoor shopping mall adjacent to the actual Cathedral (the Duomo) that anchors the city’s tourist industry.  But I would skip the Duomo and instead venture a few blocks away to the much smaller and wayyyyyy creepier Santuario di San Bernardino alle Ossa, its tiny chapel covered from floor to ceiling in human skulls and bones!!

By far and away, this is a man’s town…for clothing.  While French women are the most elegant in Europe (slight bias here), it is the Milanese men that put all other males to shame.  They are just so damn good-looking and impeccably groomed I often stare at them with a mixture of bitter envy and fawning admiration.  But where to go to look as good as Alireza Niroomand and his brethren of sartorial savants?  Two spots: for everything visible to the naked eye, look no further than Mariano Rubinacci.  One layer deep, for underwear and pajamas (and linens!), head to Telerie Spadari.  I guarantee heads will turn when you get back to Raleigh and show up at Panera kitted out in MR.

The most manly of man-stores however is Lorenzi, where if it’s got a sharp blade and can be made for a hundred times the cost of its pedestrian rival, it can be found here. From tortoise-shell straight-edge razors to crocodile-skin gardening tools, truffle-shavers and backgammon boards, this place has it all.

And if your look is more Balenciaga than Bond, you will have to go to 10 Corso Como, the original concept store that’s still going strong thirty-three years later.  From the best Japanese designers to the iconic swirly-patterned pottery, temporary art installations and quaint café, it is the cool kids’ fashion epicenter of town, a world away from the classic elegance of Via Montenapoleone.

Each spring the design world descends on Milan for Salone di Mobile, a major event showcasing the greatest new pieces from both young designers and iconic houses. Avoid going during this week as every hotel room will either be booked or cost three times more, and all the great presentations are by invitation only. But to give you a taste of what this is all about, make sure to visit Nilufar Gallery.

EATING AND DRINKING

Okay, I’m going to level with you, despite the eponymous risotto and veal cutlet, this isn’t exactly the culinary capital of Italy.  HOWEVER, it’s still Italy, so it’s damn fucking good.  One of my go-to spots in town is Antica Trattoria della Pesa, a simple, austere room that serves a special crispy risotto that feels like a refined predecessor to the US’ ubiquitous faux Japanese crispy rice and spicy tuna.   

I would be remiss without mentioning Sant Ambroeus’ flagship outpost, the one that started it all.  Come fashion week it’s a mess hall for buyers and models alike, but the rest of the year it’s simply a damn good place to get your morning coffee and pastry or your nightly cacio pepe.  If you’re lucky, you may even be graced by Ali’s presence.

Here’s a little something I learned on my first visit to the city as a poor college kid: all the city’s bars, including the finest of them all, set out a smorgasbord of free delectable cocktail bites come happy hour.  Before I could afford a Spritz I would sidle up to the counter for a Sprite and ingest a day’s worth of carbs on the house.  The tradition continues and my favorite place to do so remains the legendary Cova.   Perfect for an early-afternoon Shakerato pick-me-up (the frozen margarita of non-alcoholic espresso drinks) alongside a little panini, or a late-afternoon Prosecco (with afore-mentioned free bites).  Its eternal nemesis, Marchesi, across the street on Montenapoleone, is just as good, and is the perfect spot to pick up a picnic en route to Villa Panza or beyond. A final third one that is worth mentioning, a locals-only kinda spot where you just may catch a glimpse of a member of the elusive Prada family downing an espresso and cornetti for breakfast is Pasticceria Sissi.

And then there’s the wildly popular 50s’ themed Bar Basso who originated the already passé Negroni Sbagliato.  But the nice thing about Europe is that no one really gives a damn.  While Americans are desperately fretting away with what the drink of this very moment is, Milanese will continue to drink what they’ve been drinking for half a century, regardless of social media. 

Finally, for a younger, cooler option, Bar Paradiso will serve you up a glass of Brunello and an exceptional little plate of cold cuts along with other tasty treats.  More subdued than the other options, it invariably feels more local than the rest despite their successful New York pop-ups.

And if you want to bring home the finest in Italian foods (or stock up your fridge in town), there’s only one place to go and that is Peck, their infinite choice of fresh pastas will make you dizzy, their variety of prosciuttos will make you giddy, and their wine selection will simply get you stone-cold drunk. I love this place.

THE SECOND-BEST 4th OF JULY CELEBRATION IN THE U.S.

Five and a half hours north of Chicago—past even Traverse City—on the eastern shore of Michigan’s Lake Charlevoix, sits the picturesque town of Boyne City.  Don’t ask me to go into a long-winded timeline of how this idyllic hamlet got put on the map as a country-wide contender for the greatest 4th of July celebrant, just know that it’s the case.

A couple quick roadtrip notes should you tackle the drive up here (you can also fly into Traverse or head straight to the hotel via seaplane).  Once you pick up your car at O’Hare, there are three crucial stops you must make: the first is a hot dog at Superdawg, the second is a frozen lemonade at Mario’s.  The third is your dinner at Pequod’s, for the best deep dish in town (I’m prepared to debate this fiercely with anyone that comes at me).  (a quick note: to cut down on the insane amount of time it takes to make a deep dish pizza, you can place your order at the same time as your reservation, cutting out about 40 minutes where you’d be filling up on unnecessary fried mozzarella sticks). For a fancier meal, hit up Avec.

After a good night’s rest (The Chicago Athletic Association for the architecture, The Four Seasons for the view), head out of the city and stop at Calumet Fisheries, an award-winning rundown seafood shack, for their smoked fish.  You should get on the road early so pack a cooler and fill it with treats from here (and stock up on other goodies in Chicago as the Boyne offerings are somewhat basic).  Continue on to Indiana Dunes National Park where you can enjoy your loot on the beach and tick off an otherwise unimpressive National Park from your checklist (make sure to pack your NP Passport to get your stamp!).   And finally, most imporantly, YOU MUST STOP at one of my favorite ice cream stands anywhere in the world, Moomers.  Set alongside the grazing pastures of the cows that so generously donate their cream for the confections, it’s the stuff of dreams.  Will you have to wait twenty minutes in line for a cone? Yes. Is it worth it?  I wouldn’t have written an entire paragraph on it if it weren’t.

Also know that if you choose to come up here, you’re not going to have a million choices in where to stay.  Which is probably why the perfectly-appointed Hotel Walloon books up months in advance for their lakeview rooms, and why you should also book your speedboat rental at the adjacent Tommy’s Walloon concurrently to ensure you have plenty of time out on the water during your stay.

The boat rental is bewilderingly as expensive as the hotel room but sadly it’s a necessity for a day or two: aside from a rather glum patch of sand a hundred yards from the hotel, there’s no other access to the stunning lake, so whether you just want sunset beers on the water or a full day of wakeboarding, you’d better have a boat at the ready (sadly Van Dam does not offer rentals!).

But I’m getting distracted…the main event isn’t the lake (or the dozen surrounding lakes we swam in), it isn’t the ice cream, it isn’t the hotel, it’s the nearby town of Boyne. There’s a full day of activities planned each year, starting with a VERY early morning 5k run and ending with spectacular fireworks in the evening.  But in truth the frenzy begins the previous evening when locals stake out their prized parade spot by putting out their folding chairs a day in advance.  You’ll have to get creative on where to watch the big show from, we got lucky and Van Dam allowed us to ride atop their float.  Maybe if you put in an offer on one of their crafts they’ll be as generous to you?

But while the parade may be the centerpiece of the day’s festivities, you can easily catch a glimpse and move on.  Enter your kids in the pie eating contest and the rubber duck race, sample other pies in the baking competition, dig into the Rotary Club’s BBQ chicken luncheon and most importantly get ready for the ultimate highlight of the day: the town-wide water fight, masked under the guise of the Jerry Froats Commemorative Raft Race event .  It’s definitely a BYOSupersoaker kinda thing, and you’ll want to be dressed accordingly.  Rafts of all manner parade down the town’s stream that feeds into the lake, each one wobbling and barely staying afloat as throngs of party-goers stand atop spraying down onlookers on the banks of the river.  Kids scramble into the water to refill their guns, sheer pandemonium ensues, and honest to God, it may have been the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.

By the time the fireworks roll around we were so beat we drove back to our hotel for a quick bite and to watch Walloon’s own fireworks festivities before collapsing in bed. The next morning, after a pancake breakfast, we were out on the water doing donuts and catapulting ourselves in tubes over wakes. It’s a five day trip that packs in an entire summer’s worth of fun and as I’m writing this I swear I’m making an iCal note to book a room in October for next year…

THE PATENTED OJAI PIXIE TOUR™

My dear friend Diana Yen came up for the name of this sprint around town, named after the exceptionally sweet local tangerines you can find here all winter and spring, both dotting the endless groves that make up the hamlet, and at the weekly farmer’s market. While I normally recommend avoiding weekend crowds in such popular spots, so many fun things (the farmer’s market, Tom Ball and Kenny Sultan’s sets at The Cold Springs Tavern) only take place on Sundays. Another thing to note: do NOT come here in the middle of summer. Despite the proximity to the ocean, Ojai sits in a valley devoid of breezes and it bakes. Late spring and early fall are ideal to take advantage of the hikes, while the winter will offer you all the abundant citrus that is locally grown.

WHERE TO STAY

Okay, this is the tricky part.  While I applaud Ojai for banning Airbnb short term rentals back in 2016, the dearth of decent lodging has led to a shortage of rooms for those wishing to spend the night here.  As someone who lives part of the year in a town that has expanded way beyond its means, it only makes me love Ojai more but makes it tricky for me to recommend a place to crash.  So here goes the shortest list I’ve ever made:

The Hotel El Roblar- There aren’t a million places to stay in Ojai, in fact there aren’t even three places. And your best bet hasn’t even opened yet, but by the time you come around to booking this place it will be up and running.  How do I know it will be any good?  Well I know for sure it will be Goode, as Eric Goode, the mastermind behind the Bowery Hotel in New York, Chateau Marmont in LA (back in the 90s) and weirdly The Tiger King (he directed it, more on that later on in the post) is renovating this iconic space in the heart of town.

There it is.  One choice. That isn’t even open yet.  I mean, there is The Ojai Valley Inn+Spa, but it’s more of a full-blown golf resort than a special little retreat in a magical town and may take you out of the meditative spirit of the area.

EATING AND DRINKING

The Dutchess The team behind one of my favorite breakfast spots in LA (Huckleberry) has opened up an all-day spot here in Ojai.  The breakfast is what you want here though, you can skip the rest of the meals they serve up.  Great pastries, solid coffee, and a menu of egg dishes and whatnot with plenty of tables for you to spread open a Sunday copy of the Times.  They also happen to have great merch.

Pinyon Pizza This spot is damn good, and not just for their creative Neapolitan pies.  By day they have exceptional bagels, abundant salads, and plenty of other great baked treats.  At night the focus is on the pies with some great specials and apps and perfect wine list to boot.  A special shout-out however to Boccali’s, the original pizza joint just outside of town which might not be a match in terms of kitchen prowess, but it’s location amidst the orange groves is simply unbeatable on a late spring or early fall evening.

Rory’s and Rory’s Other Place.  Rory’s is the one “special occasion” restaurant in town and it’s a local favorite.  Sadly the room burned down at the end 2023 and it’s only just now about to reopen.  In the meantime, they have a more laid-back companion (the Other Place) that serves lunch and little treats.

Rori’s Ice Cream Different spelling, different owners, different town, nothing to do with Rory’s.  But this ice cream parlor in Carpinteria makes for the perfect break after a day at the beach, with all the fruit in their sorbets coming in fresh from Ojai.  Don’t miss the passion fruit!!!

Little Dom’s Seafood Across the street from Rori’s is this beach town outpost of the Los Feliz Italian favorite.  This branch is devoted to the plunders of the sea, from fresh uni caught just off-shore, to piles of fat oysters.  They also have a little to-go deli in the back.

Cold Springs Tavern Tucked away in the hills between Ojai and Santa Barbara ,this old stagecoach house dating back to the mid-nineteenth century has become a favorite for bikers and tourists alike on the weekends when they serve up BBQ sandwiches alongside sets of ragtime and blues by Tom Ball and Kenny Sultan who have been playing here continuously for 45 years.  (A more proper, sit-down restaurant also runs throughout the week and should be reserved in advance come Fri-Sunday).

La Super Rica I know this post is all about Ojai, but being this close to La Super Rica, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the Santa Barbara legend.  This innocuous taqueria on Milpas Street is so good that Julia Childs moved to SB towards the end of her life simply to be near this mecca of Mexican cuisine.  It is beyond exceptional.  Bring cash and order the #16 along with a horchata.  And be prepared to wait A LONG TIME in line, no matter the time of the day or the day of the week.

WALKS AND HIKES

Carpinteria Bluffs Nature Preserve  If checking out sea lions cavorting on sun-drenched rocks and walking alongside rail tracks while birdwatching is your thing, look no further than this idyllic little seaside stroll which you can tackle before a meal at Dom’s and an ice cream at Rori’s.

Rose Valley Falls Early spring is the ideal time to make the short trek up to this waterfall that will be in full, cascading display then.  By the end of fall it’s a less impressive trickle but still a lovely place for a picnic.

Piedra Blanca Formations Conversely, you do NOT want to attempt this hike in the spring as a winter’s worth of melted snowpack will create a river crossing too high to forge early on in the hike (it’s about three minutes into the walk so you can easily turn around and call it a day if you feel overwhelmed).  But once you make it to the other side and hike about a mile up the trail, you’ll find yourself amongst a moon-like series of white canyons and rounded boulders that are a blast to scramble about with friends on mushrooms or kids on trail mix.

Shelf Road A classic walk that starts right on the edge of town and can be as simple or challenging as you want, depending on the number of alternate loops you tack on, allowing you to go deep into the mountains or catch an aerial view of the town.

Swimming Holes Essential to staying cool in the sweltering summer months, these are holy, top-secret affairs—often filled with eldery, grumpy nude men—but along the road out of town leading to Rose Valley there are some great ones.  Just don’t mention my name when you find them….

SHOPPING

You don’t come to Ojai for the shopping but if you do want to bring back a souvenir, here’s where to go.

Bart’s Books One of the most special bookshops I’ve ever seen—anywhere—the sprawling space is just a series of courtyards endless sections of second-hand books.  An indoor room houses a decent collection of first edition art and photography volumes.

The Crystal Corner When in Rome…of all the crystal and crystal-related paraphernalia stores, this is the gold standard.  Stop in here before your trek to Meditation Mount and get kitted out.

Heritage Goods and Supply On your way to Caprinteria Bluffs Preserve, stop in here for a perfect Pendleton picnic blanket, some snacks, or earthenware for the kitchen back home.

Ojai Farmer’s Market What it lacks in size, it makes up for in quality.  Seeing as Ojai is a veritable Eden of produce, this Sunday market is the gold standard.  Definitely make sure to check out Friend’s Ranches wonderful citrus selection, along with the mushroom guy and the cherimoya gals.

Ojai Roots If you’re craving exceptional farm-fresh ingredients and it’s not Sunday, make your way here for some incredible produce, wine, and snacks you can take home or enjoy in the shade outside. You can also snag candles, oils, and other gifts for friends back home.

Santa Barbara Fish Market If you want to go straight to the source and gorge on fresh uni or local black cod, come here and be blown away.  A great selection, and literally fifteen feet from the boats bringing in the day’s catch!!!

SO OJAI

Meditation Mount Just out of town, atop a mountain that looks out at the valley below, this special retreat offers beautifully landscaped gardens ideal for sunset views, along with a couple of pavilions dedicated to group meditations.  Make reservations in advance to secure a spot, and lose yourself in the calm of nature.

Turtle Conservancy Ultra-cool hotelier Eric Goode (Bowery, Chateau) eventually decamped from New York to Ojai and founded a turtle conservancy tucked away on a quiet street on the edge of town.  From giant tortoises to fingernail-sized terrapins, this place has it all, a veritable reptilian paradise.  The one hitch?  It’s not open to the public. But if you make a generous donation, you can spend an idyllic afternoon on the sprawling property.  Donate a bit more (okay, a lot more) and you can spend the weekend in one of the beautiful guest houses on the property.  Funny note, it was in researching a documentary on illegal tortoise trading that Eric came across Joe Exotic and created the Tiger King phenomenon.

The Krishnamurti Center Jiddu Krishnamurti traveled the world lecturing on his investigations to the fundamentals of life for close to six decades, but his downtime was split between India, the UK, and…Ojai.  His former residence is now a retreat, learning center, and orchard open to the public.  It’s the perfect place to contemplate the meaning of your life, and whether you should sell everything and move to this amazing Southern Californian Shangri-La.

AN INSIDER’S GUIDE TO THE ULTIMATE CATSKILL SUMMER

Berry picking at Grieg Farms

I’ve gone over this list a half dozen times in the past two days alone, and am still not quite sure how to break it down. Initially I thought of separating it along the lines of the river, keeping half of it in the Catskills, the other half in the Hudson Valley, but seeing as no matter where you stay you’re going to be doing some driving, I figured I’d keep it to categories.

If I were you I’d try to find a place to stay somewhere between Woodstock and Phoenicia as you will then be equidistant to almost all adventures .  That said, the two best hotels in the region, Piaule and Inness, are both a bit off-axis from the sweet spot.  Either way, you’re going to need a car or a friend that drives and doesn’t get pissed off that you don’t.   

Lastly, the prime time for heading up here is Wed-Friday in the summertime.  Most things are closed Tues-Wed, and most things are insufferable Sat-Sun because of people like you coming up.  Otherwise, come for a couple weeks and just stay put on the weekends in whichever idyllic haven you choose to hole up in, venturing into the towns only towards the end of the week.

But no matter when you come up or where you stay, I guarantee you’ll fall in love. This area is so so special for a thousand different reasons, it’s why I’ve called it home for close to twenty years. From hidden waterfalls to bountiful farmstands, honky-tonk nights at The Pines or breakfasts in Kinderhook, gentle hills and warm hearts, it’s all just beyond awesome, and just a couple hours from the city. Here we go…

Bovina’s sweeping skies and rolling hills

THE AREAS

Okay, here’s a very brief rundown of all the little micro-zones that comprise upstate.

Woodstock -The epicenter of the Catskills.  Yes, Woodstock like the festival, and no, the festival didn’t take place here (the farmer whose land it was supposed to be on got spooked at the last minute and they chose to move the concert down to Bethel, an hour away, but by then the iconic poster had been printed and well…there you go).  Despite a half-dozen stores still clinging  on too dearly to the summer of ’69 iconography, there is a great blend of classic New England small town and I-ate-too-much-acid weirdness.

Hudson - I aways tell people I live on the wrong side of the tracks, with the Hudson River being the tracks.  Well, the town of Hudson is on the right side.  While the Catskills are all about rustic mountain life, swimming holes in the summer and family-run ski resorts in the winter, Hudson and the surrounding Valley are all about expansive farmland and sprawling estates.  It’s for fancy people.  But we like fancy and there are some of the best farmstands and restaurants I’ve ever been to around here.

Tannersville - This town is stuck at a crossroads.  On the one hand it offers conveniences like a great little bakery, burger shack, and gift shop along with access to nearby hikes and waterfalls, on the other hand it’s adjacent to the monumental Hunter ski resort and throngs of Hassidic enclaves that shack up for the season.  Still worth a visit for a Coke float at Mama’s Boy after hiking Huckleberry Point or a chubby squirrel pastry at Shandaken Bake en route to a nearby swimming hole.

Kinderhook - Just North of Hudson, we discovered this town a couple years ago, little more than an intersection with an exceptional restaurant and gift shop, and two world-class art centers.  Jack Shainman repurposed the local elementary school into a massive single-show gallery, while the nearby Art Omi boasts over a hundred acres of site-specific contemporary art.

Andes and Bovina - The farthest points west that you’ll travel, these two sleepy towns are up and over the Catskills’ mountain range, existing in a timeless bucolic landscape that feels closer to Vermont in the 19th century.  Old dilapidated barns collapse onto one another, cider houses and farms dot the hillsides, while pristine lakes await your canoe.

Miranda Brooks’ wild, lush landscaping at Inness

HOTELS AND GREAT RENTALS

Piaule Hotel Tucked into the woods near the northern town of Catskill, this architectural masterpiece is the region’s answer to Utah’s mythic Amangiri.  A handful of exceptionally-appointed, minimalist wooden cubes with massive windows looking out onto the forest, spaced out around a communal space that houses a restaurant, spa, and lounge areas.  It’s as perfect as it gets.

Inness Designed by NYC expat Taavo Somer (creator of Freeman’s Alley a generation ago), this sprawling estate feels inspired by a mix of Hudson Valley farmland and English countryside, perhaps due to the landscaping by British visionary Miranda Brooks.  Cottages dot the expansive fields and golf course, while a restaurant and bar at the top of the hill provide a social hub for the area.  You can book a room, a house, a staycation or a wedding, either way you can’t go wrong.

The Henson A bit out of the way in the northwestern town of Wyndham, this re-vamped little inn is home to super chef Jeremiah Stone’s latest, Matilda. While I haven’t stayed in the rooms, I had one of my best meals ever upstate at the restaurant.

The Deer Mountain Inn Imagine the summer compound of that rich oil baron uncle you never had, and that’s what you’ve got at the DMI.  Actually, the compound belonged to the Colgate family (the one whose name you see every morning at your bathroom sink) and a dozen years ago some enterprising folks decided to convert it into a very intimate ten room hotel, alongside a lovely restaurant and extensive hiking trails.  It’s a bit darker than the other two choices but pays greater respect to the traditional Catskill aesthetic.  We love coming at least once a summer for dinner on the porch.

The Maker Hotel and Rivertown Lodge In my mind the main reason to head upstate is to escape the city, but if you just can’t stand the quiet of country life and need to walk down a block to grab your morning paper and coffee, then check out these hotels across the river in the heart of fancy-pants Hudson.  The Maker’s got a hint of Bowery Hotel aesthetics while Rivertown is brighter and more modern, but both are a stone’s throw from great restaurants and mid-century antique shopping.

For a full locals experience though, renting a spot is the best choice.  Below are a few great ones that in all likelihood are already booked up for the entire summer but you should earmark for future visits…

The Willow Tree House

The Pond House

Mt. Guardian Guest House

A Perfect Cabin

Brian Toll’s Eureka at Art Omi

ACTIVITIES

ART

Art Omi This exceptional contemporary art park boasts permanent works by Dan Colen, David Shirgley, Pippa Garner and countless others, while a main pavilion hosts a yearly temporary show.  I would actually try to visit this place in the fall when the leaves are changing and the weather cools. In mid-summer it can get swelteringly hot with very little shade to be found.

Jack Shainman Gallery A space as impressive as any Chelsea gallery and three times the size, Shainman puts on one single-artist retrospective each summer and fall, spreading the work over three floors of Kinderhook’s former elementary school.  It’s a ten minute drive from Art Omi and around the block from our favorite breakfast spot, so you can make a perfect day of it all.

The Campus is yet another elementary school taken over, this time by a collective of five NYC gallerists. The renovation on the space is non-existent, leaving you with a dilapidated shell of a public school housing works by Jenny Holzer, William Forsythe, Cecily Brown, and literally hundreds more. It’s a bit overwhelming in scale, a bit hot and humid in the summer, and all in all, worth the trip!

Opus 40 A monumental work of outdoor art that took a lifetime to accomplish, this space is just a couple minutes outside of Woodstock and also hosts periodic concerts throughout the summer.

Bard The college campus features the Hessel Museum, a music center designed by Frank Gehry, and miles of idyllic walking trails open to the public.

DIA Beacon a bit of a shlep, half-way between the city and Woodstock, this museum is a greatest hits for artists like Dan Flavin and Donald Judd who all created site-specific works for the institution.

MASSMOCA and The Clark Institute Ok, these are a couple  hours away but well worth the overnight stay at the fun Tourists Welcome motel.  From a dozen of James Turrell installations to endless murals by Sol Lewitt, the MassMoca  is just AWESOME.  Just make sure to individually book the Turrell rooms well in advance (I recommend the first slots in the morning so you can see the rest of his pieces in the quietest way possible). The nearby Clark Institute is more traditional in its collection but worth a visit if you’re in the area.

Foreland Housed in abandoned factories in the town of Catskill, this collection of studio spaces is still a few years away from reaching its full potential but is making a valiant stab at relevance with a mix of co-working offices, temporary exhibits, and an annual outsider art fair.

Paddling along the Pepacton Reservoir

OUTDOORS

Canoeing+Kayaking There are two options here.  You can either paddle peacefully on the Pepacton Reservoir which is STUNNING by renting canoes at the Pepacton Bait&Tackle in Arkville (or Susan’s Pleasant Pheasant Farm in Halcott) or you can go for a real crazy adventure kayaking down the Delaware River in Downsville via Al’s Sporting shop.  Both offer a great day on the water and are among our favorite activities upstate. If you go on the Pepacton, specify that you want to get the canoes at Shaverton Bridge and make sure to print out a permit first from the DEP.  The process is free and takes about 5 minutes, but you need the physical permit printed in advance so plan accordingly!  And speaking of planning, definitely pack a cooler for a picnic on the water either way.

Putt Putt Van Winkle This is the stuff of legends.  Created by the couple who launched and then shut down the country’s most legendary fireworks show, this Bovina-born labor of love is open around the clock for free rounds of mini-golf. The seventh hole is the 2nd-longest in the world, and the whole course is themed around the story of Rip Van Winkle.  The art direction is INSANE, and anyone lucky enough to get a hole-in-one will receive a stunning hand-made trophy in the mail two months later.  I can’t impress upon you how special this place is.

The Woodstock Tennis Club is a private affair but non-members can book lessons on their website.  There are several public courts in Boiceville, in the high school complex just off Rt. 28.  They are open to all on a first-come first-serve basis throughout the summer.

Ashokan Rail Trail  the old rail lines around the Ashokhan reservoir have been turned into a beautiful running/biking trail stretching about fifteen miles from West Hurley to Ashokahn. There’s convenient parking, beautiful views, and it’s an ideal place to bike for families. You can rent bikes here.

Accord Speedway A small town race track, perfect for bringing kids on hot summer nights.  It’s a noisy affair and I strongly recommend both sitting at the back of the bleachers to avoid smoke and mud splatters, and paying the extra five bucks to be able to go “backstage” and visit the cars up close between heats.

Hudson Valley Renegades A minor league baseball team near Rhinebeck plays games all summer long.

The Catskills’ gentle slopes from the top of Devil’s Path

HIKES

Overlook Mountain A fairly straight-forward (read: dull) hike right out of town, it’s worth it for two reasons: 1. the 360 degree views from the top where you feel like you can practically see NYC and 2. the haunted remains of the long-abandoned hotel 2/3rd of the way up.  It’s the Runyon Canyon of the Catskills.

Plateau Mountain via Devil’s Path (Starting at the Devil’s Tombstone Campground on Rt. 214). This one will break your legs and back but getting to the top is soooo rewarding and it’s a relatively quick hike.  Not recommended for young kids or out-of-shape parents.  Once you get to the lookout continue onwards for your nose to be filled with the smell of fresh pine and your eyes to feast on the multiple lookouts over the following mile or so (it’s not a loop trail so you can technically keep going for a day or two or head back anytime once you’ve reached the first viewpoint at the top).

Huckleberry Point Near Tannersville, this is a great family hike.  Not too hard, not too long, and a beautiful pay-off of a view at the end.  5 stars.

Black Glen at the Deer Mountain Arboretum  Just down the road from the Deer Mountain Inn, this meticulously-manicured and maintained property features some great trails for strolling.  Nothing too exerting or too far, it’s ideal if you have little kids and want to introduce them to the pleasures of hiking.

Giant Ledge There are dozens of great, challenging half-day hikes in Catskills and none of the mountains get much higher than 3,500ft so there isn’t a ton of elevation gain.  This one is a local favorite.

Swimming Holes Okay, sorry to end on this note, but here’s where I draw the line.  I’m happy to share all my favorite secret addresses around the world with you, but I simply cannot in good conscience give away swimming holes.  These are the most coveted spots upstate, and every time a New York Times article or an asshole with an Instagram following publishes one, it is forever ruined by hordes of people.  The real secret is to discover one while you’re upstate and then never ever, EVER, under any condition, tell anyone else about it—it’s a far greater crime than wearing white in the Hamptons past Labor Day…

Works in progress at Josh Vogel’s Black Creek Mercantile&Trading Co. in Kingston

SHOPPING

Pidgin A mix of high-end antiques and local finds, this spot in Oak Hill is right out of Architectural Digest.  It’s a bit far from everything, but that makes it all the more special!

Black Creek-Kingston/Fern-Hudson/Sawkille-Rhinebeck If you love the BDDW furniture aesthetic as much as we do, these three stores are great finds.  Unique, exceptional hand-made wood furniture and sculptural pieces.  Black Creek also has a wonderful selection of gifts like wooden bowls, cutting boards, and more.

Warren Street The main drag in Hudson boasts great mid-century stores, record shops, and bakeries.  You can easily spend the afternoon here when you’re done brunching at Café Mutton or the Rivertown Lodge.

OK Pantry in Kinderhook sells a beautiful collection of children’s toys, a worldly selection of candy, and the best kitchen staples collection I’ve ever seen.  Their chocolate chip cookies are also a force to be reckoned with.

Sundry Tannersville’s first decent store, a great mix of home furnishings for an upstate house.  From cast iron skillets to cozy blankets, locally-made candles and hand soaps, the selection and quality is spot-on though you’ve probably seen most of this stuff elsewhere before. Make sure to visit the Shandaken Bake shop next door for tasty morning treats, though they usually tend to sell out before Sundry opens for the day!

RAINY DAY ACTIVITIES

Patel’s bowling alley in Kingston won’t win any design awards, but it’s functional and in a pinch does the trick.

Skate Time - An equally vintage roller rink in Accord.

Kingston Ceramics Studio offers both private and group classes for children and adults of all skill levels.

The Orpheum Theater in Saugherties, and Starr Cinema in Rhinebeck are both run by the same people, while Tinker Street Cinema in Woodstock just went it alone, but all three offer a really great mix of indie and studio films along with tasty concession stands.

Bringing home loot from Montgomery Place Farmstand

FARMS+FARM STANDS

Montgomery Place Farmstand If you closed your eyes and imagined the greatest farm stand of all time, with each baby zucchini’s flowering petals intact and droplets of dew dotting every freshly-picked peach, this is the place you’d be thinking of.  I’ve never come across a better farm stand, their produce throughout the season only gets better.  Just don’t go on Sunday afternoon when their loot is depleted, instead opt for Thursday or Friday.

Fat Apple Farms in Ancramdale.  Unbeatable quality in a picturesque location, this is the place to stock up on frozen meat and fresh eggs for the duration of your trip.  All done on a cash-only honor-system basis, the store is open pretty much all day every day, just walk in, pick what you want, write down what you took in the journal, and drop them a payment!  Beautiful other farms and stands abound nearby including the iconic Ronnybrook dairy farm.

Churchtown Dairy is one of the most picturesque farms in the region offering the most beautiful glass bottles of milk alongside cheeses and frozen meats.

Pick Your Own.  There are three great spots to pick fresh fruit around Hudson.  Grieg Farms is the largest and offers the most variety across summer and fall, while Fix Farms has the best peaches and Rose Hill Farm specializes mostly in apples come fall.

Ravenwood This perfectly art-directed barn in Stone Ridge offers a mix  of interior decor, flowers,  and top-notch produce.   They started  as food  stylists  and  naturally grew  into what they are  now, still offering some baked good each time they open their doors.  Check their  instagram site as their hours/days are infrequent…

Migliorelli a decent back-up in case you need to grab something in a pinch.  The selection can sometimes look a bit withered but they have solid frozen meat choices and dairy products.

Sunfrost’s annual Halloween pumpkin display

FOOD SHOPPING

Talbott &Arding founded by the NorCal Cowgirl Creamery folks, it's like Cookbook in LA, or Bi-Rite in SF.   From exceptional terrines and prepared dishes, to great homemade poundcakes and local produce, be sure to stock up  on their hot cocoa mix, i’ve never found a better  one in my life.  Their little glass jars of vanilla custard and jam are the greatest treats in the world, the eggs they stock from Kinderhook farms have the brightest yolks, and of all the exceptional charcuterie, their classic Virginia smoked ham is the stuff of legends.  We drive an hour out of our way twice a month to stock up here.

Mel A couple blocks away on Hudson’s main drag is the region’s best bakery, offering a ton of breakfast pastries, flavored focaccias, top-notch sandwiches and loaves. Get here early before everything sells out!

Fortunes Ice Cream In the quaint college town of Tivoli, this ice cream shop shines bright with flavors like Halva Honeycomb and Labne Sour Cherry.  All the fruit they use is brought in from nearby orchards, all the merch is terrific, and the staff is awesome.

Sunfrost and Cub Market Two wonderful small markets in Woodstock and Bearsville, they are ideal for everything that the farm stand may be missing.  Sunfrost boasts a tasty juice bar while Cub Market’s sandwiches to-go are perfect for a swimming hole picnic or break on the hiking trail.

Sunflower Not as quaint, this spot in the center of Woodstock is the Erewhon of the region. They now boast a solid fish dept., along with organic everything, plenty of wellness pills, and a large selection of local beers.

Woodstock Meat Market These guys have come a long way in the past ten years.  The place used to sell cigarettes, beer, and greyish beef.  They now sell cigarettes, beer, and local hormone-free prime cuts of meat. It’s your best bet in town. 

Roasted carrots and charred cucumbers at Brushland Eating House

RESTAURANTS/BARS/MUSIC

The Catskill Pines The social epicenter of the Catskills, this rustic roadhouse offers great drinks, a solid smashed burger, and the unparalleled warmth of its owner, the unofficial mayor of the region, Jeremy Bernstein.  With his deep roots in the local music scene, Bernstein has been able to offer The Pines as an impromptu concert haven for folks like Marco Benevento and Sam Evian, with intimate winter shows indoors and sprawling musical summer BBQs on the lawn outside.  He’ll even rent out the six bedrooms upstairs to groups of friends for the week so be sure to check in with him if you’re looking to corral the gang for an adventure.

Brushland Eating House Just flawless, from the scenic drive there to the last bite of dessert.  This place got us to discover Bovina and we’ve never been the same since.  Sohail and Sara who run the place are such a special couple, the food is delicious, the setting magical. Just make sure you book way way wayyyy in advance as word has gotten out about this gem.  And if the drive seems too far for one meal, make sure to inquire about the perfectly-appointed guest rooms they rent out upstairs.

Stissing House These guys can’t stop winning awards for their old-world dining room that is definitely the most formal spot you’ll find upstate (again, it’s on the “right” side of the tracks).  But the decor is impressive and while the menu can be a bit on the heavy side, it’s worth a visit.

Casa Susanna Another relative newcomer with accolades piled high, this Mexican spot in the quiet town of Cairo is unpredictably hidden inside a refurbished 50s-era motel.  With all the hype, it’s best you reserve a week or so in advance.

Silvia The “fancy” spot in Woodstock, it’s a bit pricey and feels slightly out of place in the rustic Woodstock surroundings but the room is beautiful, the food really good, and locals are thrilled to have a proper place for a nice night out.  They’ve also opened an Asian spot just off the town center called Good Night.

Morningbird When you’re passing through Kinderhook on your way to Art Omi, stop here for an unexpected Filipino spin on breakfast classics, like a spiced egg sandwich or simply perfect mochi donut.  We love love love this spot and the adjacent gift shop, bookshop, and liquor store.  We try to take the 1.5 hour drive here at least twice a summer.

Buckhill Farms is wayyyyyyy off the beaten track and is almost a full day’s adventure unto its own, but once you arrive and look at the menu, you’ll feel like you’re 1,500 miles away from home and not 150.  Biscuits smothered in sausage gravy, pancakes the size of a dinner plate, and omelettes that weigh more than most pets, this maple syrup farm is a great spot to bring groups of friends, though it is more ideal in the fall months when the surrounding leaves are exploding in color.

Bread Alone One of the most respected bakeries in the Northeast offers traditional breakfast and sandwich options both in Woodstock and on Rt. 28 in Boiceville where they also fire up an outdoor pizza oven on the weekends.

Tinker Street Tacos I LOVE THESE TACOS!  The trouble is the owner is a cantankerous crank that takes 23 minutes to assemble a single taco and chooses to only open up two days a week.  But if you can get past this you are in for a real treat.  Weekends can be spent drinking his incredible supply of tequila and mezcal.

Top Taste A tiny shack in Kingston (NY) slinging authentic Jamaican food, and has been twice nominated for Best Chef in NYS by James Beard!

If you’re a New Yorker that can’t go 24h without craving pizza, I’ve got three incredible choices for you.  First is Lola’s in Kingston, from the people behind the Inness Resort.  Their pastas and drinks are really good, but the pepperoni and hot honey Neapolitan pizza is an 11/10.  More bucolic is Westwind Orchard, which came to prominence as a berry picking spot and cider house but is now best known for their pizzas and other tasty food.  A great spot to meet friends from different necks of the woods for an afternoon of lazy drinking and munching.  And finally, nearby Westwind is Ollie’s Pizza, a massive space serving a massive amount of pies.  But don’t let the size scare you, it’s just as tasty as the other two options (and they now have a second outpost in Kingston).

Drive-in Movies There is a really fun multiplex drive-in in Coxsackie NY and a more throwback single screen in Greenville. Showtimes start at sundown so bring blankets, spin your car around, fold down the backseats and lay down in the back of the car!  The Greenville theater may not have first-run movies but they have a first-rate snack bar, including cookies baked fresh and brought warm to your car mid-film! A mile or so past the Coxsackie screens is a roadside ice cream stand that will take you back to summer camp treats after the ballgame.

The Maverick A truly one-of-a-kind concert venue in the heart of Woodstock, it’s like an indoor-outdoor church for classical music.  Look up their schedule and buy tickets way in advance.  It’s a magical experience.

The Bearsville Theater has just been taken over by the legendary Pete Shapiro, owner of Brooklyn Bowl and the Capitol Theater so the programming is about to get really really good.  This legendary venue had  sunken to an all-time low recently and it’s great to see a solid lineup already announced.  Some of the shows are worth booking a weekend trip around a night out of music.

BAD TRIPS Vol.1: MIKE’S CAMP

Remember that friend from high school, the first one who convinced you to smoke a joint, drop a tab, take a trip?  You trusted them implicitly perhaps because of their exceptional sartorial choices, or taste in music.  We have one such friend now, one whose homes are beautiful dens of comfort, whose sense of adventure is akin to ours, whose generosity, warmth and kindness is unparalleled.  So when he proposed a Kenyan escapade to ring out the first year of the pandemic, we couldn’t think of a more perfect place with a more perfect companion.  And indeed, the first week spent on a stunning private reserve over Christmas was nothing short of idyllic.  But as the final days of 2020 ticked away, we set our eyes on Kiwayu, a small island neighboring Somalia, and a little retreat known as Mike’s Camp.   Our journey into darkness began…

For years I’d been told of the exotic magic of Lamu, a shabby oasis off the coast of Kenya.  In particular, the iconic Peponi Hotel, a Chateau Marmont for British aristocracy who crave adventure and stiff drinks, set against a backdrop of modern-day pirates who’ve made their way south.  Indeed, Peponi’s is just that, and I strongly urge you to go there, especially after a week of inland safari.  Sadly, I could not convince my wife or the rest of our group…

The approach by boat to the legendary Peponi

Instead, our friend suggested a magical retreat two hours north.  Of course it sounded incredible, we were offered to be flown in via private plane to avoid multiple layovers and a lengthy boat ride.  But as our puddle-jumper touched down on a dusty strip and was greeted by a 1980s Suzuki 4x4 outfitted with a machine-gun-on-a-tripod, I realized this was not the vacation I had expected.  No staff outfitted in neatly tucked-in Lacostes adorned with the hotel’s insignia waiting with a eucalyptus-scented  towel and arrival cocktail meant to combat the jetlag , we were instead tossed into the cab of the truck.   A bumpy 15 minute car ride took us to a tin-can boat that drove us 30 minutes north into uncharted waters.

When we finally arrived at the island I saw no dreamy huts dotting white sand beaches.  Instead there was a dock with further armed guards and a steep slope heading up a cliff I was told to climb.  You see, at one time Mike’s Camp apparently did have waterside dwellings but it simply made it too easy for kidnappers to whisk in by boat, snatch tourists, and head off.  After realizing the success of this drive-thru approach to hostage-taking (and therefore the dwindling number of return guests), Mike had the bright idea to move the rooms up to the top of the cliff.

the skeletal remains of the oceanside huts

There’s a wind that sweeps through the south of France each summer called a mistral.  It lasts a handful of days and is so unrelenting that it is common knowledge one can be acquitted of murder with the wind as an excuse, its torment is so great.  Our trip to Mike’s Camp coincided with the Kenyan equivalent.  The thatched huts featured no windows, thus no shelter from the constant pounding gusts.  The winds not only rendered swims in the crystal blue waters or even strolls on the deserted beaches impossible, it even precluded a retreat to your bedroom for a reprieve.

Of course no hotelier is in control of weather so it’s hard to deduct points for this, but another fun fact of the resort is that the only readily available potable water source for the island’s colony of blue-assed monkeys happens to be in your toilet.  So a 2AM shuffle to pee reveals a dozen set of eyes perched on the seat of the loo, while the monkey’s cupped hands splash grey water into their mouths.

Each communal meal at Mike’s Camp is executed by Mike’s sister, a British expat in her late 60s whose exposure to the sun is surpassed only by her exposure to nicotine. The ash of the perennial Marlboro 100 dangling precariously from her lips surely made its way into more than one entree.  That said, I must say that the food was the highlight of the trip.  The banter around the table however, was not.

On our first evening we were in the presence of Mike, his sister, two couples I’ve since forgotten, a family of five, and a quietly belligerent pair of German men I’ll get to in a bit.  All I remember of the family of five was that they were repeat customers (I still struggle to wrap my head around this) and their eldest daughter was about 14 years old.  Mike’s dog had taken a liking to this young teen and eventually bit her (gently) in the ankle.  As Mike’s sister shooed the dog away, I turned to my seat mate to chat, and when I turned back around I noticed that Mike was no longer at my side: he had gotten on all fours under the table and was busy alternately licking the 14 year old’s ankle and barking like a dog.  The parents laughed off the antic by flippantly saying “oh Mike, she’s too young for you.” I can’t remember what we had for dessert.

A brief description of Mike: imagine Harvey Weinstein as a drunk Brit who you caught outside a pub pissing in the alley while trying to light a cigarette with the butt of his previous one.  His fascinating family history involved grandparents who, upon returning from frontline combat in WWI, were offered free farmland in Kenya as compensation for a job well done polishing off the Germans.  The ensuing trek down there involved crating family heirlooms like a seven-foot-tall mirror atop elephants, across the entire country.  Eventually they settled on the secluded island on which the resort rests.

Our host for the week.

The climax of the holiday of course was New Year’s Eve, where friends had invited us to take in Peponi’s glamorous gala before hopping on our flight home at the adjacent airport in the AM.  But Sarah declined and instead lured our friends to our isle of despair, sure that Mike & Co. were going to crank up the dusty stereo that had been dormant all week and dazzle us with a fête the likes of which we’d never see again.  Well, it turned out that the reason the stereo had been dormant was that it broke in 1993 and Mike never bothered replacing it.  Beyond a music-free cocktail hour and his sister’s least imaginative meal of the week, it turns out not much else had been planned.

But a quick note about the two middle-aged German men I’d mentioned a couple paragraphs ago.  They’d come to Mike’s Camp for a week of fishing, paying a hefty daily supplement to the already-hefty cost of accommodations to charter a boat for some deep-sea adventures.  They returned each evening empty-handed and then spent each night before dinner drowning their sorrows at the bar, growing more and more belligerent, insisting Mike was stealing from them.  Adding insult to injury was another family comprised of a beautiful mother who was a half-Spanish half-Moroccan jewelry designer, a father as dashing as a young Hugh Grant in the role of Indiana Jones who was not just a documentary filmmaker but also a boatsman who crafted his own canoes, and their perfect nine year old child who went off every morning at sunrise in the boat he and his father had built together, always returning with a dozen freshly-caught barracudas which he paraded unwittingly before the Germans as they breakfasted aghast .

But the horrific boating experiences were not reserved exclusively for these two. At some point the monotony of not being able to go to the beach got to us and we were told that exceptional snorkeling awaited just twenty minutes away by boat. So our gang gamely boarded a thin-metaled battered hull that smashed against increasingly larger waves to the terrifying point of near-capsize and semi-permanent back injury. When we finally arrived at the secret cove, we were unceremoniously dumped off with our gear and told that the boat would return to pick us up in an hour. The only hitch? The tide was low, the water never rising above our ankles. The other hitch? The place was replete with sea urchins, so for an entire hour we had to wait, standing up, making sure not to walk too far to the left right, in front or behind us, lest the creatures drive their spikes into our flippered feet. It was a long hour…

The Germans meanwhile reached their limit on the last night of the year.  The wind, the liquor, the lack of fish, the beautiful family’s child’s preponderance of fish, it was all too much for them.  So once we sat down to overcooked langoustines, and as I looked out in the distance to the adjacent pavilion and the bats swarming around my own son while he tried to play ping-pong, I noticed what appeared to be a bat flying right past me.  A split-second later a blood-curdling shriek erupted from my seat mate.  Apparently, as a final act of retaliation for a week of deception, the Germans had lobbed a lemon wedge towards Mike and accidentally hit my friend in the eye, blinding him for the remainder of the evening.  Insults were exchanged, punches were pulled, and the clock counted down to midnight while we all sat arms-folded in a couple hammocks waiting to put what was hopefully the worst year of our lives behind us.

The following morning, after a two hour boat ride we finally sat drinking a coffee on the deck of Peponi’s, watching the hotel ready itself for their yearly New Year’s Regatta around Lamu.  All the hotel’s guests lazing around the veranda or beside the hazy pool seemed to be part of an unspoken chummy clique that of course I desperately yearned to be a part of.  But I would have to content myself with the strong macchiato and a t-shirt from the souvenir shop that I could wear for years to come in the hopes that someone in the know would know that I know all about Peponi’s, a hotel that remains just beyond my grasp.

AN ART-FILLED ROADTRIP THROUGH THE SOUTH OF FRANCE

While one generally tends to think of France’s temples to art as being concentrated in Paris, the South of France has some of the most special contemporary art foundations found anywhere in the world, all dotting the bucolic vineyards and hillsides of Provence.  It’s an easy train ride from Paris or if you’re State-side, a hop on a plane to Nice.  And unlike the roadtrips of the American West which usually involve daily (breathtaking) five hour drives, you won’t clock more than a couple hours at a time here, popping into a Chapel designed by Matisse here, or a two-star Michelin lunch there.

Below I’ve laid out a one week itinerary that includes plenty of time for lazing around the pools of the insanely awesome hotels the region offers (two of them are in my Top 5 of all time).  You could definitely condense things into a 3-4 day long-weekend, but take time to sip the rosé and smell the lavender.  Remember, you’re on French time. Slow down, relax, it’s a vacation for Pete’s sake.

The ideal time to do this trip will be the first week of July.  The big art fair in Arles—Les Rencontres—will just be opening up, and you won’t want to miss it. It’s also early enough that you’ll avoid (some) of the tourists and beat (a bit) of the heat.  You could definitely do this trip in Early June or September, but some of the restaurants may be closed and some of the art foundations shuttered.

Oh, another thing: you’ll notice that I avoid mentioning strolls through any of the picturesque  little hillside towns that dot the landscape.  That’s because they are all tourist hellscapes filled with the same shitty BS art-galleries peddling ersatz watercolors and the same seven dish towels.  You got better things to do, trust me.

DAY 1- ARRIVAL IN NICE, HEAD FOR THE HILLS!

Grab your rental car and head to Chez Davia for lunch.  Will this be the best meal of the trip?  Most likely not, but especially if you’re coming in from abroad, this super cozy, family-run secret will plunge you right into the mood of the region.  The food is simple, the room is spartan, but there is so much love coursing through its veins it’s hard to overlook this little hole in the wall.  You’ll also be two blocks from the beach in case you want to stretch your legs for a stroll along the boardwalk, or if you’re in the mood to dive straight into the art, you’re a five minute drive to the Matisse museum which will be the perfect intro for your first real stop on the road…

The Matisse Chapel hangs precariously off the side of a winding road that takes you up towards your hotel for the night. Make sure to hit this during the late-afternoon as the golden sun-light beams through the artist’s breathtaking stain-glass windows, creating trippy reflections all around you.

From here, check into the Colombe d’Or Hotel.  A heads up, ever since Jay Z and Beyoncé posed for pictures here (and even some time before), it became a damn hard ticket to score.  You may need to base your entire trip around availability here and whatever you do, DO NOT SETTLE FOR A ROOM IN THE NEW WING, where they house the majority of the selfie-stick wielding degenerates.  In fact, if you can, insist on Room 36 (seen above).

The closest approximation of this Eden that I can think of in the States is Chateau Marmont but instead of being inhabited at one point by degenerate doped-up rock stars, it was originally home to degenerate doped-up artists who all paid for their rooms with works of art.  The result?  You may have an original Miro hanging in your room, the indoor dining room is replete with Picassos and the iconic (selfie-worthy)  emerald-tiled pool is anchored by a spectacular Calder mobile.   Book a table for dinner outdoors where the space is framed by a Fernand Leger work and tuck into the beautiful basket of cruditées before wrapping things up with their soufflé.

DAY 2 - MAEGHT FOUNDATION

You could hurry things along and squeeze this day into the following one, but come on, you’re on vacation.  So take some time to loll around the pool, order a lazy breakfast in bed, and then drive over to the Fondation Maeght, a temple of modern art housed in a temple of modern architecture.  The collection will feel like an effortless extension of all the work that has enveloped you at the hotel, just in a grander setting.

Head back to Saint Paul de Vence in the early evening to watch a heated game of pétanque in the town square while you down a Pastis and feast on a little charcuterie platter.  Will you be squeezed in to a table next to Bob and Diane from Chippewa Falls and a party of 8 from Chengdu?  Probably, but this is the reality of summer travel through France.  I could give you tips for a road trip through Uzbekistan but would you really go there over this?

DAY 3 - MARSEILLE

Here again, there’s no real need to spend the night in Marseille but if you don’t want to feel rushed in exploring the city, book a room for the night at the Tuba Hotel on the outskirts of town and secure a table for dinner on the rocky Mediterranean outcrops while you’re at it.

In Marseilles there’s a bunch to do.  As an architecture fan, my first stop would be Le Corbusier’s Unité d’Habitation, whose rooftop has been turned into the MAMO art center by local designer Ora Ito.

Grab a quick bite at the little Epicerie Ideal and pick up some local treats, from bottarga and tinned fish to confit lemons and homemade vinegars.  Continue the shopping spree at the legendary Maison Empereur, the town’s answer to Tokyo Hands since 1827. Want more modern, want more fashion? Then Jogging is the joint for you.  But don’t spend toooo much time shopping, you still have to hit up the MAC contemporary art museum, and again, for the architecture fans, the design of the MUCEM is pretty great.

On the off-chance that there’s a local football game going on, their team, OM,  has some of the most hard-core fans around and the matches are quite the spectacle.  Just don’t go if their opponents are Paris’ PSG, those matches usually devolve into riots.  And by that I don’t mean a hilarious laugh-fest.

DAY 4 - PARADISE AWAITS

Head off to the countryside and book an early lunch at La Chassagnette, an idyllic restaurant with vast gardens to stroll through, from which the mostly vegetarian multi-course meals are sourced.

If you’re shocked by how sparse this day looks it’s because not only will the lunch take a long time but you will want to spend as much time as possible at one of my favorite hotels in the world where you’ll be staying a night or two, Villa La Coste.  The hotel rests above a vast vineyard which for the past two decades has been turned into a world-class contemporary art park, Chateau La Coste, with permanent pavilions and works by Andy Goldsworthy, Tadao Ando, Prune, Renzo Piano, Anish Kapoor and so so soooo many more.

As you book your room here make sure to organize a private tour of the grounds.  You can either do it on foot which I would NOT recommend if it’s hot out as it’s a several-hour long walk under a brutal sun.  However, the golf carts and accompanying guides they offer are ideal.

Again, if you’re looking to shave off a day or so from this itinerary you could squeeze in the tour this evening, but you could also just laze by the pool, enjoy your perfectly appointed villa and wait until tomorrow.  For dinner there are multiple choices on the property.  You’ll probably be fairly full from lunch so I would recommend the 3 star Hélène Darroze restaurant in the glass pavilion on the hotel property for the following night, along with the exceptional Francis Mallmann steakhouse which is on the museum’s grounds (a five minute stroll from the hotel).  However, the museum also offers a simple pizzeria and a couple other restaurants which would do the trick.

DAY 5 - POOL DAY

Day off.  Relax, ready a book by the pool, enjoy lunch from the hotel’s terrace, feast on a 5 course dinner, hit up the art park if you didn’t do it yesterday.  Trust me, you’ll never want to leave this hotel.  Ever.

DAY 6 - ARLES

This picturesque medieval town is the epicenter of the South of France’s art scene, the Marfa of Europe.  The biggest power player here is billionaire heiress and philanthropist Maja Hoffmann’s Luma Foundation, designed by Frank Gehry.  Each year it builds one incredible show or retrospective, featured alongside a series of smaller installations in the multiple halls on the grounds.

If this weren’t enough, the entire town gets taken over starting the first week of July by Les Recontres, an art-and-photography fair that has drawn the world’s biggest artists together since 1970.

In the heart of the town is the classic old hotel, the Nord Pinus, who takes the opportunity to bring in an incredible foreign chef for their outdoor square restaurant each season.  Last year was the team from Mexico City’s Maximo Bistrot.  But choosing your dinner here will be a real toss-up as local star Celine Pham has an exceptional tasting menu that she offers nightly, two blocks away at Inari, with one of the strongest local natural wine selections you’re bound to find.

And if the slightly shamble-y Nord Pinus hotel isn’t to your liking, I’d strongly recommend spending the night at Le Cloitre, one of a few properties taken over by Hoffmann to house all the Luma visitors.  This one has been wonderfully redone by the always eclectic, wildly inspired India Mahdavi.

DAY 7 - OUT OF YOUR GORDE

Before heading out of Arles make sure to visit the eloquent, understated Lee Ufan Foundation, tucked away on a little side-street, it will be one of the most poetic moments on your entire trip.  And if you want to channel your inner Ernest Hemingway, check to see if there’s a bullfight in the town’s ancient arena, it’s one of the only places left in France to see them.

From here you’ll be heading out to the hillside (ultra-touristy) town of Gordes, for a luxuriously lazy lunch on the terrace of the Arielles Hotel at Jean-Francois Piege’s outpost of Clover. The view is unrivaled, right out of a Çezanne painting.

Finally, make your way to Avignon in time to check out the Collection Lambert before you return your car at the train station (they have Hertz, Sixt, Eurocar, and other outposts).  You can either take a TGV back to Paris or come full circle by heading to Nice.

There you go, the perfect relaxing week of gorging on art in the south of France. See you down there…

A PRESIDENTIAL ADVENTURE ALONG THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL

The Appalachian Trail, heading down to Lakes from the summit of Mt. Washington

The Appalachian Trail spreads out across 2,200 miles of the eastern United States, starting at Springer Mountain in Georgia and winding up at the summit of Mt. Katadhin in Maine.  It’s the longest hiking trail in the world and if you were to do the entire run, it would take six months.  Don’t worry, this post is not a pitch to dedicate a half a year to living outdoors.

Before the trail was even the trail, The Appalachian Mountain Club (AMC) created a series of eight alpine huts in the late 1800s.  They were based off the European Alps’ refuges and are tucked along the Presidential Range of New Hampshire’s White Mountains, about a month and a half from the end of the trail if you’re hiking the Northbound route. The apex is Lakes of the Clouds, an iconic high-altitude lodge just off the top of Mount Washington, one of the tallest peaks along the entire trail.

Each of the huts is a day’s hike from the nearest parking lot (some farther than others) and then a full day’s hike to the following one.  You can hike just one or all eight depending on your level of enthusiasm, stamina, and spare time.

Lakes of the Clouds hut at sunset

There are also two “base camp” lodges where you can spend the previous evening to allow for an early start on your first day (Highland Center and Joe Dodge Lodge).  A shuttle system runs between the lodges and the parking lots and the best thing to do is to park at the lot where you will FINISH your hike, (make sure to reserve the shuttle when you reserve the huts and pay for your parking spot here) and then take the shuttle bus to the lodge you’ll sleep in the night before. This way, when you finish in a couple days you can land right at your car and head to Polly’s Pancake Parlor for a well-deserved final feast.

Be forewarned: the huts themselves are no luxury glamping experience, but they sure beat having to pitch a tent and lug cooking gear up a five mile incline.  Most of them feature communal bunk rooms (bring earplugs in case there are heavy snorers in your room!), no showers, and compost toilets.  There’s also no outlets, so if you crave broadcasting images of your hiking feats to the outside world, you’d best bring a portable battery charger (none of the huts have wifi and only a few will give you a couple bars of reception).

But what these spots lack in amenities, they make up for with idyllic charm.  The huts are run every year by a rag-tag crew of genial New England college kids who wake you up each morning with a beautiful folk tune before plying you with stacks of pancakes and scrambled eggs to get you bulked up for the day’s hike ahead.  In the evening they offer talks on local biodiversity or astronomy after a hearty home-cooked dinner.    They also perform hilarious skits around each meal that have kids and adults giggling alike.

Each hut has its own draw beyond this: Lonesome Lake sits right on a stunning pond that kids love to swim in, Greenleaf is tucked on a precarious ridge just below Mt. Jackson, and Zealand’s waterfalls make for a great post-hike cool-down.

Personally, my favorite time of year to visit is the first week of September when the summer crowds have thinned and the heat has dissipated.  The huts are open all summer though and a few offer spectacular fall sessions to see the changing of the leaves, while true adventurers can snow-shoe to the lower-altitude ones in the winter.

How you choose your adventure will depend greatly on your hiking skills. We started easy with our six year old son, doing a single night up to Lonesome Lake.  It’s less than a two mile walk and not very steep.  It was the perfect introduction, easily doable by all, and with each year that went by we tacked on a night or went for a more challenging hut.  One of the harder stretches we encountered was Zealand-to-Greenleaf, close to nine miles of grueling multiple peak ascents.  One of the most fun was the ridge walk between Lakes of the Clouds and Mizpah.

The best thing to do is to call the AMC and talk to someone directly, the phone center is filled with incredibly knowledgable staff who know the trail inside and out and can advise you on the best route to take depending on your skill, but know that none of the hikes involve any technical training whatsoever.

Do make sure to get the All Trails app and download maps of all your hikes in advance so you’re not dependent on cell service.  The trails are exceptionally well-marked, but this way you can know at any given moment how far you are from the next turn or the next hut.

One final caveat is that the higher-altitude huts (3 of the 8) are above tree-line and inclement weather is a real danger.  The AMC is really great about updating you throughout your trip to let you know what the latest meteorological situation is and help you (re-)organize your trip safely and accordingly.

Okay, I think that’s it, hope I see you on the trail this summer!!!

Inclement weather nears Mt. Jackson, forcing us to evacuate quickly to Greenleaf hut.

Oh, lastly, here’s a general idea of what you should pack in your 3-day bag:

• Gor-tex shell

• light down jacket to layer

• non-cotton t-shirt to hike in (one for each day)

• pair of non-cotton shorts to hike in

• comfy top and bottom to wear around the hut at night

• hiking boots and thick non-cotton socks

• some kind of Tevas/sandals for water crossings and relaxing at the huts

• sun hat and glasses

• swimsuit (depending on the huts you choose)

• small toiletry kit with biodegradable soap should you bath in a lake/waterfall

• a head-lamp

• phone charger

• waterproof stuff sacks. these are ideal to compartmentalize your gear in your pack.  one for knick-knacks, one for each day of clothing, one for snacks…

• about 2 liters of water bottles per person (you can fill up bottles at the huts)

• plenty of snacks for lunches and stops on the trail

• if you’re hiking in the summer, no need for a sleeping bag, you can get away with a sleep sack, which is basically a sheet that zips up, otherwise in cooler months you’ll want a bag

A SKI TRIP AT THE END OF THE WORLD

Tadao Ando’s breath-taking Buddha outside Sapporo

Okay, this is the year you plan that big once-in-a-lifetime trip. And THIS IS THE TRIP!!!

Yes, there’s great powder in the Rockies, and yeah there’s incredibly picturesque villages to explore in the Alps, but nothing is quite like the spell-binding experience of skiing through bamboo reeds in Hokkaido.  And for those living out West, it’s closer than a trip to Europe while for those in Europe, well…it’s about as far as Colorado!

There are several resorts to choose from but unless your Japanese is solid and your comfort of driving on the opposite side of the road is strong, I’d stick with Niseko, the most Western-friendly of all the domains.

The altitude here is negligible, (the base is at 300m and the top of the mountain a mere 1000m higher) and the slopes are not particularly challenging, but what the area lacks in variety it makes up for in quality.  There is so much snow here, and of the finest, driest variety, that the mountain does not even have snow making machines on standby.  Every day brings the most ethereal fresh powders, and on the rare days when it doesn’t snow, everyone profusely apologies to you, as if the shortcoming were personally their fault.

The only downside to this whole amazing adventure is that things book up FAST and they take it very seriously.  How serious you ask?  Well, not only do restaurants open reservations up to six months in advance (namely one exceptional soba spot), but when making your reservation six months out, they request that you choose what you will be eating a half a year later!!!!  All I can say is that I suppose it takes some of the stress out of deciding what to do last-minute?

The best snow of the year is apparently end of January but when we went last year for the new year we were spoiled with powder up to our thighs.  So start planning now, start figuring out your meals in March, and get this end-of-2024 special holiday booked before you head off for spring break!

Niseko’s Park Hyatt Hotel

HOTELS

There are three different options for hotels that are all terrific and simply depend on what you hope to get out of the vacation.  Niseko differs from the typical resort where a series of mountains interconnect to create one domain.  Here, a single mountain soars upwards, with four different bases from which to access it.

The Park Hyatt is one of these access points.  The plus-side is that this is the only hotel with ski in-out.  A ski valet brings your skis out to the front door, plops them down, and you glide a hundred meters to a lift that whisks you up to the center of the trails.  At the end of the day you avoid the deluge of masses of skiers taking a final run since this access point only services the hotel.  On the downside, the hotel is REMOTE, meaning there is no strolling to town.  It is also a massive, sprawling affair with residences, a dozen restaurants and more, none of it feeling particularly Japanese in spirit. But man, that convenience—and the tasty, global breakfast buffet—more than makes up for it.  Two more quick tips on the place: try to get a room with a built-in onsen for the best apres-ski treat and lastly, no matter how appealing their restaurant menus may look online, they all have the charm of Vegas casino dining.  Skip them and instead book taxis (well in advance of course) to take you to some of the spots in and around town. There is also a free hotel shuttle to take you to certain spots…that must be booked ahead of time…

In the center of the main town of Niseko is the Setsu Hotel, barely a year old.  Friends of our stayed there and despite having to rely on a shuttle bus to take you to the slopes (or a five minute walk), they loved it.  Best of all, it features the most special sushi experience around, Sushi Kato Inori.  You won’t want to miss this one, it was by far the best meal we had in Niseko.  You’re also in the center of town which makes it ideal for shopping in the afternoon and drinks in the evening.

Lastly, for those that want to experience the winter wonderland rather than skiing specifically, there is the Zaborin ryokan, a breathtaking space that feels right out of AD magazine.  A massive sense of scale conceived for just a dozen or so rooms twenty minutes away from the noise of the town.  Yes, there is a shuttle to take you to the slopes but it’s far from convenient, and all the rates are half-board which means you’ll be eating their exceptional 2 hour, 38-course dinners every night.  Not the worst thing in the world, but more geared towards someone in search of peaceful solitude rather than ski adventure.  At the very least go for a drink one evening.

SKIING

I would recommend booking at least 1-2 days of ski lessons at the beginning just to get a lay of the land of all the slopes as it can be a bit confusing/disorienting, esp. since the very top is very often fogged/snowed in.  Also, certain key slopes that link you from one base/access point to another side of the mountain close before the end of the day and you can get stranded miles away from your hotel. As with all else, book these guides wayyyyyy in advance (like July/August). A lot of the crowd at the resort comes from Australia and New Zealand, so make sure when booking a guide to ask for someone who is proficient in English.

There are unfortunately about 12 different ski schools and not all of them can pick you up at your hotel so email the concierge and insist on a guide that can pick you up.  Otherwise you risk having to take a shuttle or taxi to the other side of the mountain and it’s a pain in the ass (because each school is located at a different base/access point).

The teachers from NISS allow you to go through chairlift fast pass lanes on the Hanazono (aka Park Hyatt) side while Go Snow instructors have a lane on the Hirafu side (Setsu Hotel side).  BEWARE: if you like skiing off-piste, there are other schools that specialize in this and it is one of the highlights of the region. NISS instructors won’t take you to the backcountry “gates”.  For that experience I strongly recommend the guides at Pro Peak.

If you looove hardcore backcountry skiing, book a guide at the Powder Company. But beware, this is serious stuff, hiking up the mountains yourself with skis on your back, wearing avalanche detection packs, etc…

If staying at the Park Hyatt and renting the fanciest skis, Hanazono 308 will deliver them directly to the ski valet at the hotel to fit them for you, otherwise you will need to walk 2 minutes to the ski rental shop to bring them back. Either way, you can book online in advance.

The hand-drawn drinks menu at Gyu

EATING+DRINKING

As we began planning our trip, we fantasized of magical bowls of steaming lunchtime-ramen being offered up in quaint chalets dotting the mountain.  Alas, we were wrong.  The options are scant for meals and all of them are factory-like cafeterias with abysmal selections of fried food.  But there is one exception, and it is absolutely perfect.  Bo-yo-so is tucked away between two slopes, easily missed the first or second time you fly by, though the lines that begin to form around noon draw the eye towards this ramshackle hut that dispenses endless traditional Japanese fare.  Our favorite was the bowl of steaming rice generously covered in salmon roe.  There’s no reservations here and folks hover over the tables waiting to pounce on a free seat when it avails itself.  I recommend beating the rush and going early, around 11:30, so that you then have the slopes to yourself come midday.  Beware, this place is CASH ONLY.

Rakuichi is the soba spot I mentioned before that gets booked up for the season sometime around September or October so make sure to snag a seat here early on.

Somoza is a stunning dining experience in an old farm, attached to a small gallery and little shop that offers incredible ceramics at half the price of that curated boutique in Williamsburg you love.  The reservation process here is equally challenging as spots are first offered to guests staying in the collection of villas on the property, but persistence is key!  Dinner involves a guided tour by the owner through his beautiful collection of local art, followed by a meal that weaves between French gastronomy and Japanese tradition.

Sushi Kato Inori in the Setsu Hotel is the ultimate homage to Hokkaido’s unparalleled seafood.  There is another Kato Inori in town, but the intimacy of this six-seat spot is just perfection.

Gyu One of the most awesome apres-ski spots (or bars) I have ever been to, anywhere.  The entrance is discretely marked by a 1950s refrigerator door set in a wall on a small side street.  But much like Narnia, once you duck your head in through the fridge door you enter a warm, speak-easy-feeling space complete with an overwhelming selection of records being attended to by the owner/bartender.  The twelve page menu is naively hand-drawn with Wes Anderson-like charm and the drinks are top-notch.  Outstanding.

Check out the Zaborin ryokan for a drink and a visit.  I’m not sure if you can eat there if you’re not staying there but try, as it looks bonkers.

Raku is a cool little iza-kaya for small dinner bites/drinks

We weren’t able to get into The Barn, but it looks pretty solid for Western-style fare.

And if you feel overwhelmed by too much Japanese food and are craving the Alps, hit up some raclette at Alpinist.

Crab is a specialty in the region and for a taste of the best from the Sapporo fish market, head over to Enzo Seafood.  This isn’t a restaurant but rather a market in town, and they will prepare the crab (along with a plethora of sushi) to-go.

In the center of town is a cute collection of food trucks. I can’t vouch for the quality of any of them but it’s worth taking a look.

Lastly, if you’re craving a lovely latte more than green tea to fight the jet lag, make sure to check out the small Pierre Cardin-like structure that houses the Japanese mini-chain %Arabica.

Makomanai Takino Cemetery. Yeah…pretty, pretty weird…

ADVENTURES BEYOND

As I mentioned earlier, there are a slew of other resorts around the region, and if you feel like an adventure, ring up the folks at Powder Company who can guide you to these more remote mountains.

The Takahashi Farm is a beautiful dairy (Hokkaido is renown for their milk), where you can see farmers milk cows by hand, and pick up tasty banana milk shakes and ice cream to go.

Saving the best for last, you will most likely be flying in/out of Sapporo with a car arranged by the hotel then driving you the two hours to Niseko.  On your return, plan on leaving a few hours early and take a detour to visit Tadao Ando’s awe-inspiring Buddha shrine at the Makomanai Takino Cemetery.  The less said the better, except to say that it was the highlight of our trip. And oddly enough, in the same park as the shrine is this ersatz collection of Easter Island figures…can’t really explain that.

If you do carve out some additional time before the flight home, also make sure to visit Sapporo’s fish market and get in one last great snow crab and salmon roe meal at a sushi stall in the market, or visit the quirky Museum of Salmon, Noguchi Park, Contemporary Art Museum, and Art Park.

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