a lil’ ‘orca
Take a quick flight to a small island for maximal beauty…
THE SETUP
An idyllic Mediterranean island, the middle child of the Balearic quartet, sometimes forgotten for the sexier Ibiza, the more desolate Formentera, or more developed Mallorca. But it is precisely because it is not any one of these things that Menorca winds up being the best of all.
Reachable with a plethora of direct European flights that frenetically come and go, dropping off and scooping up throngs of visitors half the year, the island itself is little more than an hour’s drive from end to end between its two principal cities of Maó and Cuitadella.
The first thing I asked the locals—and part-timers—is how they enjoyed the summers here, and they all confided that they left in July because of the brutal heat and hordes of tourists (the island is almost exactly ten times smaller in population than its bigger sister Mallorca and attracts almost exactly ten times fewer tourists, 13.5 million vs. 1.4). Therefore, similar to the rest of Europe, it does seem like the ideal times to visit in terms of weather, crowds, hotel prices and water temp are mid-June and most of September.
Three or four nights feels like a perfect amount of time to spend here, allowing you to race to all corners of the island for the cultural goodies, while also giving you enough time to just relax by the pool or spend a day on a boat. Ideally you’ll rent a car to zip you around—despite the island’s size it felt like no matter how I organized myself, I invariably did two back-and-forths each day.
One tiny detail about the car rental: you’ll want to fill up your gas tank before returning to the airport because the one filling station near there requires you get a temporary parking ticket, exchange that ticket, drive past the rental lots, then fill up your tank, then exit the airport, do a full loop, get another temporary parking ticket, exchange that ticket, and finally return your car. Yes this did happen to me, yes it did add an extra twenty minutes to the ten minute drive to the airport, yes it was infuriating, and no, I still haven’t gotten over this minor incident a month later.
That’s about it for the intro, my only other no-brainer suggestion is to catch a direct flight, there are a ton throughout European capitals though many times not daily, so plan your trip around those itineraries.
HOTELS
There are an infinite amount of small inland estates-turned-hotels on the island and most are just barely decent. The coastline is incredibly rugged and the beaches are mostly inaccessible (which makes the few existing ones absolutely stunning), therefore there are only 2-3 beachfront resorts and you should skip all of them at all costs. Also, skip any hotels in the towns themselves, they’ll feel claustrophobic and offer no views or breathing room. Instead, pick one of the three or four stunning properties that have ocean views and are perfectly done up like a spread in Elle Decor.
Torralbenc was where we stayed, and while the rooms were fine (though a bit pricey for what they were), the Michelin-starred restaurant was really impressive. Even if you don’t stay here, it’s worth booking a meal there.
Many of the people I talked to recommended the Son Blanc farmhouse and Torre Vella Fontenille looked great too. For what it’s worth, I was told to steer clear of the mini-lux, slightly Eurotrashy Experimental chain.
THE WATER
While it is a bit frustrating not to have any hotels that offer direct access to stunning white-sand beaches, the fact that you need to put in a bit of work to reach the pristine crystal-blue waters makes it all the more worthwhile. There are countless coves and secret spots, some accessible only by boat, others reached only after a decent hike. As I was only here a couple days, I just began to skim the surface of possibilities, but below are tips in both categories.
For the most ardent adventurers, there is a hiking trail that encircles the entire island and takes about ten days to complete. I’m not asking you to do this, however hitting part of this trail from a major access point like Galdana will eventually lead you to one of the best (semi) public beaches I’ve ever seen.
Here’s what you need to do to reach it: first off, the early bird catches the worm. There weren’t more than a dozen people in this breathtaking cove when we arrived in the morning, but as we trekked back we crossed hordes of people shlepping coolers, towels, and umbrellas. Sadly, there’s no such thing as a hidden gem anymore…You’ll need to reach the public parking in Galdana by 8a at the latest. From here, cross the pedestrian bridge and start in on the foot trails heading west (you’ll see a café set against the rocks out in the middle of the bay, walk towards it but then turn right, away from it).
It’s then about a 4-5k stroll through shaded forests before you reach the wooden stairs that lead you down to Macarella Beach. And here, you may think you have found paradise. You haven’t. Macarella is fine and the fact that it has a bar with drinks, shade, seating, and food is definitely a plus. But it is big and flooded with folks that are perfectly content sitting here, having put in a decent amount of effort. Don’t be them. Don’t be content. Continue another fifteen minutes around the bend (and up the cliff) and discover the beauty and intimacy of Marcarelleta. A quarter the size, zero amenities, total wilderness, and transparent water. It’s pure heaven. Until 11am. Then the masses arrive.
Your other option for the perfect day on the water is a bit pricier but will guarantee more seclusion, comfort, and scenery: a half (or full) day out on a boat. There are a couple outfitters that allow you to charter a classic wooden Menorcan llaut motor boat and hop from secret coves to hidden swimming holes and caves for hours on end. These guys will even include some snorkel gear, paddle boards, and a little snack and drink. It’s absolutely perfect and during a three day run, I couldn’t more highly recommend a day on one, it’s the best way to experience what ordinarily only the locals can see.
ART
Incredible contemporary was not on my bingo-sheet when I signed up for a Mediterranean isle weekend but I was blown away. Leading the charge is Hauser and Wirth who lately have been amassing an incredible collection of far-flung properties across Europe, from the English countryside to the Swiss Alps and now here. This incarnation involves taking a ferry ride (which you’ll need to book in advance) to the tiny island they’ve taken over. There you’ll find a yearly show by one of the gallery’s stable of A-list artists along with a cantina serving an outstanding lunch (or dinner!).
Back in Maó, there is the staggering Galeria Cayon, housed in a former theater and movie palace. The art they show is almost overshadowed by the architecture of the space, with the central room feeling like a war-torn cathedral and the underground cellars exposing unexpected works throughout the labyrinth of little rooms that eventually lead you to a private sake bar.
I don’t quite know how describe this next space except to say that if it was owned by A24, they could turn it into a backlot and shoot 15 visually-stunning horror films here without reusing a single set. The Mola Fortress is a whopper of an attraction, so big in fact that they offer golf cart rentals to discover the whole property (which is fine if you’re in a time crunch, otherwise wandering the sprawling space is half the fun). Part abandoned ruins, part modern art venue for some realllllly weird art, the piece de resistance is a 300 yard-long underground corridor with minuscule slits of daylight that is the scariest stroll you will ever take. Make sure your phone’s fully charged because a lot of the spaces here are so dark you’ll need your flashlight to find your way around. Not for the faint of heart or claustrophobes, but definitely worth the visit.
Another odd-ball attraction is the Lithica stone quarry. I’d never visited one before and was dismissively told this one was small, but when I got there I was nonetheless overwhelmed by the volume. There’s also a fun little maze that will entertain kids for a minute, and while the Fortress will take you a good two hours to stroll, you can be in and out of here in 15 minutes. There are signs everywhere saying the only way to gain admission is with advanced tickets which I dutifully bought on my phone in the parking lot, but once there, I walked around without ever showing my purchase or needing to pass through a gate or anything.
SHOPPING
While you’re in Maó checking out Galeria Cayon, there are handful of exceptional stores that stand out from the traditional tourist fare found throughout this town (and especially Ciutadella). The first that comes to mind is Tabouret, the passion project of Milk Magazine founder (and current Harper’s Bazaar Interiors editor) Isis-Colombe Combris, and it feels just as polished as the periodicals she oversees. Really cool young designers’ wares are casually laid out in a showroom that starts to feel more like a home than a boutique as you make your way upstairs. Every lamp, every rug, every corner table is simply perfect. Even the catalogue they offer feels like something you want to proudly display at home.
Just next door is the fairly kooky, seemingly never-ending Can Sab emporium. Caftans, rugs, candles, swimwear, sculptures and more, all sprawled out around multiple floors and buildings, the selection is dizzying but of solid quality. On the fashion end they stock such perennial greats as Orlebar Brown and Mira Mikati, while the homewares highlight several local artists. It’s very maximalist but not in a bad way, feeling like something out of Palm Springs.
Finally, one last furniture shop, Dorian caffot de Fawes. The taste in the small selection of deco and mid-century is so perfect that within a five minute stroll through the shop you’ll be thinking of re-designing your entire home. Eschewing the pieces you’ve seen time and time again, Dorian’s will keep you on your toes, discovering new designers and painters. And if you happen to be in London, they have another outpost there allowing you to avoid shipping your new finds.
Between Dorian’s and Tabouret you probably won’t have much money left over for gifts to bring home for people other than yourself, so your best bet is salt. Specifically a visit to Sal de Menorca. While you will find their boxes on sale throughout the island, visiting the flats themselves is a wonderful little detour. On most mornings you’ll come across a group of sexy young men and women skimming the surface of the red pools, collecting the fragile crystals which are then hand-packaged on site. The result is both beautiful and delicious, I’ve been cooking with it for the past month and plopping the box right on the table for guests to sprinkle on their steaks. The property itself is stunning and if you’re lucky enough to touch down during one of their open house events you can tour the home as well which feels like a catalogue shoot for the three stores mentioned above. Oh, and there’s flamingoes!!! What else could you possibly want?
DINING
Despite the island’s size, there is a breadth of options for lovely food here—as long as you’re into Mediterranean fish-forward dining. If you’re craving dim sum or itching for a good slice, this might not be the place for you. Otherwise, you’re in luck.
For a little lunch on a quiet bay, there’s the unpretentious, simple Tamarindos in Es Grau (not to be confused with the adjacent Café Tamardino). Here you can enjoy a mess of a dish involving local prawns, fries, and over-easy eggs. It might not read right, but it’s a delicious, hearty meal. Otherwise, split one of their paellas with the table and you’ll be just as happy.
If you’re wandering through the town of Ciutadella (which is really only worth it to make it to this restaurant and snap a couple of “look-I’m-in-an-old-city-in-the-Mediterranean” photos to make people back home jealous, though honestly they’ll be more jealous of the insane daytrip on the boat you hopefully already booked), find your way to Ulisses, a little restaurant on a square that faces the covered fish market that probably sold this place their seafood. A table outside (insist on it when you book) with chilled wine, fried calamari, roasted whole fish, it’s all perfect. Just skip the dessert and walk across the square to Gelateria Deliri which uses fresh local fruit for their insane peach sorbet. We saw the crates of fruit piled up in the back and the little flecks of skin in the end product is spot-on.
For dinner, you can go all Michelin-starred at the Torralbenc Hotel, and if you’re staying there you should definitely go, as there is no greater luxury after an endless tasting menu than walking fifteen steps to your room and passing out drunk and stuffed. There is a slight disconnect between the polish (and price) of the food and the simplicity of the property, but it’s a very very good meal.
For something a little more laidback, Oysters Maó in the eponymous town may sound like a no-brainer, but the titular mollusks are just the beginning of the meal. The full menu boasts an array of seafood from tartars and ceviches to pastas and lobster rolls. There’s a robust wine list to accompany this feast, and while the bar-stools-only seating is a bit of a nuisance, the food is worth it.
If you are looking for the most exceptional place on earth to have a sunset drink with the least exceptional people to be found on earth, head to Cova D’en Xoroi. A series of suspended cliffside terraces and interconnected caves jutting out over the Mediterranean with couches and tables to bask in the late evening glow, it draws a crowd of tramp-stamped, Oakley-wearing sunburnt tourists and aspiring D-list pornographers who gawp at just how stunning a place it is. And they are right to gawp, I did too. So if you’re with a bunch of friends and able to take over a little corner of the place for yourselves, perhaps you’ll be too distracted having the time of your life in the place of your life to notice the degenerates. It’s definitely worth a shot.
Okay, there you have it. Are there a million other places worth mentioning on this island? Well, for sure at least five or six, but these should keep you busy for a few days, so just do everything here, read a book by the pool, and simply be grateful for this.
