The Second-Best 4th of July Celebration in the United States

Five and a half hours north of Chicago—past even Traverse City—on the eastern shore of Michigan’s Lake Charlevoix, sits the picturesque town of Boyne City.  Don’t ask me to go into a long-winded timeline of how this idyllic hamlet got put on the map as a country-wide contender for the greatest 4th of July celebrant, just know that it’s the case.

A couple quick roadtrip notes should you tackle the drive up here (you can also fly into Traverse or head straight to the hotel via seaplane).  Once you pick up your car at O’Hare, there are three crucial stops you must make: the first is a hot dog at Superdawg, the second is a frozen lemonade at Mario’s.  The third is your dinner at Pequod’s, for the best deep dish in town (I’m prepared to debate this fiercely with anyone that comes at me).  (a quick note: to cut down on the insane amount of time it takes to make a deep dish pizza, you can place your order at the same time as your reservation, cutting out about 40 minutes where you’d be filling up on unnecessary fried mozzarella sticks). For a fancier meal, hit up Avec.

After a good night’s rest (The Chicago Athletic Association for the architecture, The Four Seasons for the view), head out of the city and stop at Calumet Fisheries, an award-winning rundown seafood shack, for their smoked fish.  You should get on the road early so pack a cooler and fill it with treats from here (and stock up on other goodies in Chicago as the Boyne offerings are somewhat basic).  Continue on to Indiana Dunes National Park where you can enjoy your loot on the beach and tick off an otherwise unimpressive National Park from your checklist (make sure to pack your NP Passport to get your stamp!).   And finally, most imporantly, YOU MUST STOP at one of my favorite ice cream stands anywhere in the world, Moomers.  Set alongside the grazing pastures of the cows that so generously donate their cream for the confections, it’s the stuff of dreams.  Will you have to wait twenty minutes in line for a cone? Yes. Is it worth it?  I wouldn’t have written an entire paragraph on it if it weren’t.

Also know that if you choose to come up here, you’re not going to have a million choices in where to stay.  Which is probably why the perfectly-appointed Hotel Walloon books up months in advance for their lakeview rooms, and why you should also book your speedboat rental at the adjacent Tommy’s Walloon concurrently to ensure you have plenty of time out on the water during your stay.

The boat rental is bewilderingly as expensive as the hotel room but sadly it’s a necessity for a day or two: aside from a rather glum patch of sand a hundred yards from the hotel, there’s no other access to the stunning lake, so whether you just want sunset beers on the water or a full day of wakeboarding, you’d better have a boat at the ready (sadly Van Dam does not offer rentals!).

But I’m getting distracted…the main event isn’t the lake (or the dozen surrounding lakes we swam in), it isn’t the ice cream, it isn’t the hotel, it’s the nearby town of Boyne. There’s a full day of activities planned each year, starting with a VERY early morning 5k run and ending with spectacular fireworks in the evening.  But in truth the frenzy begins the previous evening when locals stake out their prized parade spot by putting out their folding chairs a day in advance.  You’ll have to get creative on where to watch the big show from, we got lucky and Van Dam allowed us to ride atop their float.  Maybe if you put in an offer on one of their crafts they’ll be as generous to you?

But while the parade may be the centerpiece of the day’s festivities, you can easily catch a glimpse and move on.  Enter your kids in the pie eating contest and the rubber duck race, sample other pies in the baking competition, dig into the Rotary Club’s BBQ chicken luncheon and most importantly get ready for the ultimate highlight of the day: the town-wide water fight, masked under the guise of the Jerry Froats Commemorative Raft Race event .  It’s definitely a BYOSupersoaker kinda thing, and you’ll want to be dressed accordingly.  Rafts of all manner parade down the town’s stream that feeds into the lake, each one wobbling and barely staying afloat as throngs of party-goers stand atop spraying down onlookers on the banks of the river.  Kids scramble into the water to refill their guns, sheer pandemonium ensues, and honest to God, it may have been the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.

By the time the fireworks roll around we were so beat we drove back to our hotel for a quick bite and to watch Walloon’s own fireworks festivities before collapsing in bed. The next morning, after a pancake breakfast, we were out on the water doing donuts and catapulting ourselves in tubes over wakes. It’s a five day trip that packs in an entire summer’s worth of fun and as I’m writing this I swear I’m making an iCal note to book a room in October for next year…